hey doods i'm lying to my parents about my F in chemistry haha
dad asked if i got any of the paper's back, i said no
mum hasn't asked yet
i don't know what to do. i don't know what went wrong in chemistry. i don't know what's going on. i don't know why my grades are slacking. a 24/30 in maths isn't bad but i could've gotten better marks. heck, i HAVE gotten better marks. if i can just barely score an A in maths and FAIL in chemistry in a fucking monthly assessment how will i pass the CIE.
next thing i know i'll be getting a C in english.
on top of it all, the day they announce who won the elections is my birthday. isn't that amazing?
why the fuck do i even bother studying. why the fuck am i putting effort into these posters. with the way my school life is going, i'm not going to get elected. i'm not going to get an A* any time soon. i'm going to be sitting there, on my birthday listening to how someone completely undeserving of the title won because they're popular. i'm going to be sitting there, staring at my shitty marks for those shitty tests, being lectured by the coordinator because i have to "step up my game".
tuitions for maths and physics. studying after school apart from homework. paying extra attention in school. nothing really helps, does it? nothing is good enough. scratch that, i'm not good enough. not good enough to make them proud. my parents, my teachers, my sister. the people who i want to see smiling when they see my achievements.
what achievements. what fucking achievements do i have.
i've become a shitty friend who can't comfort others. a "friend" who can't help anyone or advise them. a useless "friend" to whom there really is no point except to stand there and smile awkwardly and watch as the few people i actually hang out with walk away to speak to someone else. because i'm. not. good. enough. not for myself, and not for anyone else.
long story short, F in the chat for mahnoor. actually no please because i'm getting an F in every test in school anyway so i don't need yours as well :/
