i think people forget how bad cancer/chemo are. you're not going through it. it's not affecting you directly. you don't know what it's like having these toxins flowing through your body for three days. you don't know the sick, disgusting feeling that i am experiencing right now. so why should you care. why should you take it seriously because you don't know how bad it is. you say you take it seriously, you say you know it's really bad, but you don't. you don't know how terrible it is, and god, i hope it never happens to you. i hope you never have to feel this, but all i ask is for some empathy. all i ask is for you to lay off me for a maximum of two days, just to let me recover. that's all. just a little peace of mind. don't tell me to go away and recover alone, because i need to be surrounded by support, but the type of support i am receiving isn't support. it's being attacked, even if it's as a joke, but i feel like shit currently. and i just need you to bear with my bad moods because i don't know how to deal with this feeling. i haven't eaten for three days, haven't showered, haven't changed. my legs are in pain every time i get up and my head spins if i sit up too fast. i feel like puking every other hour, even if the medicine is out. i get stabbed by a needle twice and have god knows what going inside my veins.
and that's not even the half of it. but my thumbs feel too paralyzed to write it out.
so please. please don't hurt me with your words. i'm too weak to bear your ego, or your teasing, your jokes and your mood swings. it's just two days. i don't think it's that hard.
