Outlast (1) - The Walking Dead

Chapter 19

The air was cool as I stepped out of the doctors clinic later that night. Marion was resting and I'd left her a note.

My backpack hung loosely on my shoulders and I regrettably adjusted it, feeling my cuts flare up once again.

"You're not staying?" I jumped and turned around to see Dr Tate stood by the door.

"I wish. I have to find someone." Despair washed over me, for leaving Marion, and anticipating what was left of Evan to find.

"I understand, it's got to do with the cuts, yes?" He questioned and threw me a small packet. My natural reflexes kicked in and my hand shot out to catch it.

"How did you..." I looked down at the packet of antibiotics.

"I'm a doctor, I know when someone is in pain. Physically and emotionally." He kicked off the wall and went back inside. But first, he stopped at the door and looked back.

"I can tell you're a good girl Chey. Don't let your heart get you killed. It's a tricky time we live in, sometimes we've just got to suck up and leave the past behind to move forward."  His words were sincere but I didn't agree.

"Thanks doc. I hope I can repay you for this one day." Was all I could say to show my gratitude. I wanted to cry, stomp my feet and tell him he was wrong, I couldn't let what happened go and I wouldn't stop searching for Joe, to get my revenge, for Evan, to tell him I love him. But I couldn't.

I swung round and started walking off into the dark night, the crisp chilly air surrounding me.

The distant groan of walkers surrounded me, it was now a usual sound I had gotten used to, but still set me on edge.

I reached the convenience store we were previously in and kept walking past. Not long after I came to the big oak tree where I had hidden Sol's tack, which was still there. I picked it up and walked back to the store.

Settling the tack down I put my fingers to my mouth. Two shrill whistles, about 5 seconds apart.

Unless the horse had escaped and was in danger, the most uplifting sound for an equestrian was the sound of hoof beats clip clopping on tarmac.

In the dark I saw the shadow moving towards me, the moonlight glinted off her eyes.

Sol stood in front of me and nickered gently, the sound making my heart lurch with love for this animal. I threw my arms around her neck and breathed in her sweet smell.

"I love you. You know that, right? You and me forever girlie." My eyes trickled and I sniffed as I was overcome with appreciation and love for my horse.

The sun was rising, the sky getting a lighter shade of blue. Only an hour until the sunrise and the skies would turn pink and yellow. I pulled the map out of my pocket and located the quarry.

Tacking up and mounting Sol we headed towards the location.

The smoke rising in the distance told me we were close to the warehouse. We turned onto a dirt track off the road which had caution signs so I knew I was heading the right way.

Fencing boarded the edge of the quarry and I could see all the way down to the bit of water at the bottom.

"Evan!" I yelled, my voice echoing round the basin.

The dawn light made it hard to see but I could just make out walkers milling about the bottom. I got out my binoculars and pulled Sol to a halt while I looked through the quarry.

At the water's edge was a body, it had a tartan shirt on. My heart lurched into my mouth.

I kicked Sol into a canter and we followed the path down. Once at the bottom I jumped off her and investigated the body with caution.

"Evan!" I yelled again. No response.

Gingerly, I pushed the body over with my foot and sighed in relief. It wasn't him.

Midday rolled around and I sighed. For the past few hours I had been searching the area but Evan was no where to be seen. I'd even gone back to the burning warehouse in case he'd gone back, but no.

The quarry was filling up with walkers, probably attracted to my shouting.

I couldn't stay here. I needed to move on.

Leave the past behind to move forward.

The docs words echoed in my mind. Maybe he was right.

Who was I kidding, Evan had to be dead. There was no way those guys would've let him live.

But I didn't believe it.

A group of walkers were coming up the track towards me. I swiped the tears from my eyes and turned Sol around.

"What's the point Sol. Why should I even continue? I could let you loose and you'd manage by yourself. I've lost everyone I love. How do you find it within yourself to continue?" I sobbed and stroked the mares neck with a trembling hand.

This was the first time since losing everything that I had considered... suicide.

Sol pranced on the spot as the walkers drew nearer. I had not asked her to move yet, and even though she was frightened, her respect and training was shining and she didn't move forward even though the threat was nearing.

The reins were loose, I was not holding her back. And through my own selfishness and destructive thoughts, I realised this horse would do anything for me. The fact that she came back to me after every whistle, the fact that she stood here, unwilling to move for I had not told her to yet.

I looked back, the walkers only a few feet behind and I realised I wasn't being fair on Sol. I could decide my fate, but she didn't deserve to die to the hands of the walkers.

"I love you Evan, but I have to move on now." I sniffled and lightly tapped Sol with my heel. It was the only cue she needed from me as she sprung forward like a racehorse from the gate, getting us safely away from the danger.

In that moment then I realised too, I didn't want to die either.

I patted Sol on the neck as she cantered through the trees, she was the only one I need. This would be our life and the walkers, Joe or anyone else would not come between us.

---

For months I wandered the roads, scavenging what I could here and there.

I met a small group, 3 men and a woman. I was skeptical at first but I was struggling and eventually decided to join them.

It was all going well until one night while I was sleeping, two of the men started rooting through my stuff, stealing my ammunition and supplies.

Things got hairy and I shamefully ended up killing both of them. The woman, Sara, and the other man, Mike, kicked me out of the group, understandably. I was lucky they didn't kill me themselves.

After that I continued on my own again, as I should have. I never gave up looking for Evan though. I still had this small bit of hope in my heart that he was alive still. And I wouldn't give up until I found him, or his corpse.