(Fem.) Percy meets Fablehaven

18

I sighed and laid down. "I don't even know if I deserve to be happy."

Dad didn't move from his seat next to me. "You do."

"Do I though? There are many more demigods who want to be happy...and none of them have let their friends die like I have."

Dad groaned and flopped backwards. "You're an idiot." His voice was harsh and I sat up to stare at him.

"What?"

"You heard me. You think that just because you've lost people that you can't be happy. Percy, I've lost more children than I can bear to count. I've watched the people I care about die. But I'm still happy."

"It's not the same."

"And how do you figure that?" Dad asked sarcastically, not expecting me to have an answer.

"You know that you'll lose them. You know, that no matter what, we're mortal and your not. You know we're going to die. I mean so do we but...death isn't an issue to you. Whenever one of us dies, you're not going to be that upset because you know we're going to die. But when someone close to us dies, even if it's from old age we feel it. It leaves a hole where they used to be. You remember them, but they're not there and you just have to deal with that. And when they die before they should have, whether from sickness or an accident or..."

I sighed. "It hurts so much more. To know you could have had more time. To know they had so much more to live for. And for me...to have watched my friends get killed? While I stood there? It...It hurts. It hurts so much. I just want them to be alive. Everytime I think if something funny and turn to tell Annabeth or Leo, it tears me apart. This is slowly killing me Dad and you call me an idiot for not thinking I can be happy?! I can't! I can't be happy while I know I could have saved them! I don't deserve to be happy when I let them die!"

Dad lifted his hand to cup my face and I turned away from him. I covered my mouth with a hand, trying to muffle the sobs leaving my lips.

I could feel him sit up and his arms wrapped around me. He pulled me backwards until I was pressed to his chest.

"You didn't let anyone die." He mumbled. "Get that through your head."

"Yes I did."

He turned me around and grabbed my shoulders. He stared me in the eyes, his harsh.

"No you didn't."

I swallowed. "Dad, you're hurting me."

He loosened his grip on my shoulders and chose to run a hand through my hair.

"I only want you to be happy."

"As you keep saying." I wiped my eyes. "And like I keep telling you, maybe I'm not supposed to be happy. Maybe I'm supposed to be like this. Maybe it's for the best."

"There's no way that this is a good thing." Dad said. "You don't need to feel this way. You can be happy. You just need to let us help you."

"And get Mom and Paul killed? And what about Seth and Kendra and my grandparents? This place is so dangerous and me being here has to be stirring up activity. And Nico... I wouldn't be surprised if something horrible is about to happen."

"You can't keep living based on what might happen and what's happened in the past. Look at how well that's turned out for us gods. At least...If I get Apollo or Chiron or someone, will you talk to them?"

"If it'll get you off my back."

Dad smiled and hugged me. "I'll take what I can get.

"Can I take a nap?"

"You just woke up."

"That doesn't mean I'm not tired." I mumbled and settled into his warm grip. The water around us swirled gently.

Dad shifted me so I was laying across him, supported by one arm. "I guess crying probably took a lot out of you...go on. Go to sleep. I'll stay here with you."

Poseidon

Percy didn't take long to fall asleep, something I was very much glad for.

She can't keep doing this. If she keeps blaming herself...if she keeps saying that she doesn't deserve to be happy...

I'm worried. I'm so worried that's she's going to-

I bit my knuckles to keep myself from crying out at that thought.

"Poseidon?" The door opened and Amphitrite walked in. "Oh, you're still with her."

I sighed and gestured for her to sit next to me. She did.

"I know you don't like her being here, but she's still your step-daughter. My child. And I... I'm worried." I moved Percy off of me and pulled a blanket over her.

"Well so am I." Amphitrite crossed her arms. "You've never been this attached to any of your children, not even the immortal ones. And if anything happens to her, I don't want to think about what you'll do."

I pressed my lips together and kissed my wife. "I don't know what I'll do either."

I don't know what I'll do if she gets hurt or if she dies.

I don't know what I'll do if she- if she starts hurting herself or...

I don't know what I'll do if she kills herself.

And honestly, that's looking more and more likely.

I stood up. "I'm going to call Apollo. I want him to talk to her."

Have a chapter

I've got a test tomorrow and Tuesday

So...

See yah