" i never thought I'd be in this situation."-Obi --- obi x reader~

While She Was Gone

     Obi's Pov~
     On the first day, I did my best to convince myself that she would wake up at any minute--that she would be perfectly fine and she'd wake up and jabber on and on about how the soldiers suck and how she could've been treated earlier if they weren't such cry babies. I was sure of it..so sure that she would be fine.

     But then, as days passed and still she showed no signs of waking up, I began to worry. I couldn't fight the idea of losing her anymore--it screwed with my head in ways I couldn't describe. The thought of losing her again was so impossible for me to comprehend, it was just too painful. I tried to act like I was okay in front of Zen, Kiki, Mitsuhide, and everyone else, but I just couldn't keep it together. By the time that the first month passed, I didn't eat more than an apple and maybe a sandwich a day.

     Now, I'm here, sitting beside her bed. It's been two months, and still, Y/N is out cold. I've heard the pharmacists and nurses whispering about how they doubted she would ever wake up, but I couldn't bear the thought of it.

     I sighed, looking over her beautiful face. Her expression wasn't peaceful, nor was it pained--it was just.. blank. Empty.

     Dead.

     The door swung open with a creak and I looked up to see Shirayuki leaning sheepishly in the doorway, a sad expression on her face.

     "You haven't eaten yet today," she said slowly and softly, "you should come out.. we're having lunch.."

     "So what?" I snapped, "I don't need to eat. I'm fine."

     Shirayuki sighed, only making my annoyance increase. "Obi--"

     I stood from the chair and stepped forward, glaring down at her red head. "No. You don't know what's good for me, Miss, so stop pretending like you do. I'm fine. Just leave me the hell alone."

     Her expression turned from sad to sheepish and almost scared, her green eyes wide. "I-I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. I'll leave." I winced at the heavy, painful feeling that filled my chest at her startled and scared face.

     She shut the door before I had the chance to apologize, and I heard her footsteps clicking back down the hall. I sank onto the ground, my hands yanking hard at my hair.

     "Goddamnit," I stuttered out, before hitting myself hard in the face. I can't keep destroying myself and everyone around me because of my problems.

     I'm so selfish.

     I stifled a sob and yanked my hair harder to keep myself from crying, slowly stumbling onto my feet. With slow, unsteady steps, I went back to Y/N's bedside, falling to my knees beside her bed. As I stared at her beautiful face, I felt cold, uncontrollable tears welling up in my eyes.

      "I need you, Y/N," I murmured weakly, running my hands through my hair again. "I--I can't lose you, d'ya know that? .. I mean, I expected you to take your sweet time waking up, b-but.. this is.. too long, even for you, S-Slowpoke.."

     My voice broke and I whimpered from the attempt to hold back a sob, wiping at my eyes.

     "You.. you can hear me, right..? I know--I know you can hear me, so.. please--please wake up.."

     I reached up with a trembling hand and stroked the side of her slightly bruised face, "Please.. open your eyes. I can't keep going without you.."

     Of course, I got no reply. I didn't know why I even begged her to wake up anymore--it never had any effect, but the weak part of my brain clung to the useless hope that maybe she could hear me, that maybe she'd open her eyes and give me one of her smug little smiles that I loved so much.