It's Me...But Not Me {Shiro x Matt Fanfic}

Thanksgiving Meltdown (Part 1)

It was finally November which meant cold temperatures, beautiful leaves falling, and of course Thanksgiving. Matt was shopping with Lulu and Tristy, buying more new Autumn clothes.

Matt was still under his new nickname Matilda and still kept his true identity a secret. He didn't know how he was able to keep it for more than a month, but he knew whatever he was doing he had to keep going. He still felt bad he couldn't tell Shiro, but something in his mind kept telling him no. He knew that this could potentially damage their relationship if he found out later than sooner, but perhaps he didn't have to know at least for now. He sighed gently and kept looking for new clothes to try on and potentially buy.

Ever since the Halloween Bash at his school, he couldn't help but have this ping whenever he saw Shiro, not matter who he looked like. The ping would strike his heart whenever he saw him and almost hurt whenever he saw Shiro smile or laugh. At first he may have thought it was just him overreacting and that this was normal between bros. But as the ping became more and more subtle and couldn't help but wonder why.

"Heyyyyy Matilda!" Lulu called out, walking over to Matt, "you got any new clothes to try on?"

"Oh!" Matt said a little bit surprised, now being shaken out of thought, "well uhm....yea. I found a few fall dresses and leggings."

"Perfect! Go try them on!" Amy said following close behind.

Matt nodded and started walking over to the dressing room. He looked down at the new clothes and sighed. While they did feel comfortable and they did look nice on him he couldn't help but just have this arrow constantly go through his chest. He liked it when he looked feminine, but to him he just didnt like it. He knew he had set himself up for this, but he knew that this female self wasnt the real him and how it kind of hurt.

"Woah!" Yelled a familiar voice running into Matt. Matt snapped out of his thoughts again and dodged the tall man. His eyes widen as he saw Shiro standing in front if him.

"Oh, hey Matilda." He said with a light smile, "whatcha doin' here?"

Matt stuttered for a minute, "a-ah well, you see i'm shopping with my friends, Lulu and Tristy. What are you doing here?"

"Im just trying on new gym clothes. My old ones finally got messed up and all gross so i thought it was time for some new ones."

"Of course..." mumbled Matt, a bit amused.

"Huh?" Shiro tilted his head a bit.

"O-oh nothing!" Matt chuckled nervously, "a-anyways I better try these on. See you around."

"Yup!" Shiro walked off.

Matt sighed a bit and went into the dressing room. He tried on his new dresses and leggings and while they did look cute on him and felt amazingly comfortable, it didnt feel like him. He took a deep breath and mumbled to himself, "you did this to yourself....keep going." He nodded to himself and started to take off everything and throw on his old clothes. He soon went out and back to the girls.

"Hey, how'd everything fit?" Asked Tristy.

"Like an amazing glove." Matt smiled, "im ready to buy these."

"Good, im hungry." Lulu giggled, "oh hey by the by, did you see Shiro?"

"Oh yea, we talked for a bit." Matt replied.

"Ah ok. You know Queen Amy would be on your ass right now, right?"

"Well, what she doesnt know won't kill her....or me." Matt giggled with the other girls.

He was actually starting to form a bond with a few of the girls. He went out to Lulu's house and found out shes a big fan of card games, but could never play them around her group. He also hanged out with Tristy sometimes and found out she had two older brothers that baby-ed her to death. Of course, he wasn't planning on forming any bonds with the other members and Amy her self, but it was nice to have at least two friends he could trust a bit, despite their snarky and rude personalities.

As they bought their clothes and headed out of the mall Lulu asked, "so Matilda, you doing anything for Thanksgiving?"

"Well usually me and my family go out to eat, but other than that no." Matt said thinking, "why?"

"Welllll, Amy throws these big dinners for the group and your invited!" Tristy gleamed, "everyone would love it if you came over!"

Matt did like the idea of a big fancy dinner, but couldnt help but feel bad. That also meant he would have to go buy a big fancy dress and look nice, which he wasn't too thrilled about. He also thought of Shiro might going, but shook the idea out of his head since his family usually left for Japan on the Thanksgiving break weekend. After a bit of thinking he said,

"Maybe, I will have to talk to my mom and dad, but yea!"

"Great!" Lulu smiled, "it'll be nice to have someone level headed there."

Matt was a bit confused on what she meant by that but shrugged it off.

—————————Time Skip——————————

Matt had gotten home and took off his girl clothes and put on more masculine and comfy clothes. He hopped downstairs and saw his little sister and dog, Neptune, playing in the living room. He smiled at the sight and walked into the kitchen where his dad was.

"Hey dad," asked Matt, "what are we doing for Thanksgiving week and the break?"

"Well," started to reply Sam, matt's dad, "Your mother and I will be going on a trip to speak with some people at NASA. We will be spending most of our time there, but we should be back by Thanksgiving night."

Matt had forgotten about his father's trip and smiled on the inside, "okay, because I was invited to do something on Thanksgiving."

"Sure, whos it with?"

"Oh a couple of friends. Shiro's going to Japan right?"

"Actually not this year." Sam said, surprising Matt, "his grandmother who lives a few blocks down became very ill, so he'll be spending the holiday here."

"Ah I see. Thanks dad!"

"Anytime, son." Sam responded, beginning to cook dinner.

Matt checked his phone to see one text from Shiro.

Shiro: hey, you doing anything for Thanksgiving?

Matt started to type back.

Matt: yea, I was invited by a few friends to spend time with them and going to their Thanksgiving Day dinner.

Shiro: hey thats cool, I'm staying here for Thanksgiving to spend sometime with grandmother. Poor thing, she's so ill i'm a bit scared something worse will happen to her...

Matt: hey don't worry. She's a tough cookie im sure. I hope she will feel better soon.

Shiro: same here. Come over sometime okay?

Matt: what is Thursday nights not enough for you, silly?

Shiro: meh, just not the same without you.

Matt: really?

Shiro: yea....Matilda.

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And I oop, who will actually read this since its been like half a year idk! But hello!

Im sick as hell and ive been overwhelmed with stress lol

So you might be wondering, "why tf did you update this/where have you been?"

Well my good sirs, laddies, and non-binaries, I have been focusing on more of my school work and just kinda lost interest in Voltron. But I thought, hey 4K reads is a lot and i do enjoy reading everyones comments so what the heck? While updates will be very slow, i do hope i can still have the will to continue, because if anything you guys are what inspired me to keep going. Thank you so much for waiting and I hope you all have a lovely day!

Until next time! Also thank you for 4k reads, thats insane