The Very First Hunger Games

Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Night Nineteen/ Day twenty

I think of Mason laughing, telling jokes and protecting his cousin. He can't be gone. Any minute now he'll come bursting through the woods and calm Alexis down. Ever since we came back to the camp, she has been jittery and pedantic. She can't stop pacing around the camp.

"How many people are left?" Luca says.

"April, Cleo, Antonio and us. I think that's it" I say. "If anyone else is still alive, they're keeping their head down".

"You're probably right" Luca says. "Any chance they'll simultaneously destroy each other?"

"Then it would just be us three left and then what, Luca?" Alexis says.

"That won't happen" I interject.

"What if it does?" Alexis persists.

"Well, the Capitol can't make us do anything" Luca says. 

"Haven't they already? They've already dragged us away from our families, pampered us up and forced us to kill our peers. We're basically the capitol's puppets, so yeah, I think they can force us to do whatever they want" I say.

I should feel terror, but all I feel is relief the poisonous thoughts that burned inside me. The truth will no longer suffocate me. Luca and Alexis stare at me as if I just started speaking in tongues. They knew what I said was true, but to hear the words spoken was lie acknowledging that fact. It's like accepting a tragic fate.

"Willow has a good point" Alexis says. "I don't want to kill people who I regard as friends. That's why I'm leavin".

"Are you crazy? You don't have any weapons" Luca exclaimed.

"I'll find some. I'll get by" Alexis insists.

"I know you're upset about Mason's death but there is no need to make rash decisions. Take a night to think about it" I say.

"This isn't something I just decided. I've thought about it for a while now. I know I'll be much safer with you guys, but I gotta do this on my own".

"No offence but you don't have a chance against those maniacs. Not yourself" I say.

"Exactly. That's why I'm not gonna win. The only reason I've come this far is because Mason and you guys were with me the whole time".

I can't deny it because it's the truth and this is no time for dishonesty. No matter how hard I try I can't think of any more persuasive arguments. Neither can Luca it seems. We have no choice but to bid farewell to our friend.

Alexis begins to take small steady but steady steps away from us.

"I hope one of you guys wins. You both deserve it so much" Alexis says, tears brimming.

My eyes start to glisten. This might be the last time I see Alexis. She'll be out there alone and completely helpless...

"Wait" I say fishing the knife out of my pocket. "Take this. You'll need it".

"I can't take this".

"But I'm giving it to you" I say.

"And I'm giving it back. Take care" Alexis says, and then hurries off.

That night I can't sleep, thinking about Mason and Alexis. How under any other circumstances I would have considered them friends - and I just let them slip through my fingertips. To top that off, the temperature seems to have plummeted into the minuses. Luca stirs beside me. All night I thought about waking him. I just want to talk to him. To hear the sound of his voice. I know that's selfish, because we both need our sleep. But if this really is one of my last few nights alive, I don't want to spend it wishing and regretting. I've learned we have to make things happen for ourselves and we can't always rely on others. But also, we need others to rely on. People who don't have anybody turn out spiteful and cold, like April.