Nyctophilia part.I. (The change)-(editing)

CH.13.

I want to thank any one who is following my story. Thank you all for reading. Here is ch.13 feel free to vote if you like it, comment and give me a feedback. 

I wake up the next day and wash my face, I stare at the mirror for a while, it's so strange what grief can do to someone, my face is pale, it's so dead. I am feeling that my face is fixed at one position; fixed so hard, that my face has used to be pale and so straight. I take a towel and dry my face, and then I go to my room.

I stay in my room for 2 hours, I don't know what day it's, but I don't care anyway. Every moment I live is a waste of time. I look from my window to the filthy streets of our district. People are walking by dirt and mountains of rubbish. They seem okay with that. I guess in this case we are not humans anymore. But we are not animals also; they are much cleaner than us.

I don't want to look at this shit. I get back and sit on my bed. I hold my pillow, and remember Calor, so I cry, but I won't stop myself, I will cry till my tears dry. I cry for 15 minutes, and then get up, I am thinking about doing anything, I don't want to stay at my house. My family will soon get angry with me because I am not studying. I put on my jeans and my black jacket. My friends told me that you should change this black color I wear. They say that grief is inside the heart and not in your outfits. I don't care about that I always loved black, and I always will.

I close our flat's door behind me, and take the stairs until I reach the street. I walk in the road I used to walk through; counting my foot steps as I always do.

I am giving no attention to my direction, I fix my sight on my 2 black boots, I don't want to look up. You know why? Because I will see people; hypnotized people! I pit that everyone walking the street is staring at me.

What am I doing here? I ask myself, and I don't wait for an answer. I stop, and then look in front of me. Who are these people? I don't belong to them, I never did. I want to be alone, I hate them; I hate them a lot. If our city was invaded I hope a bomb hits us and destroy our entire city. Maybe then other people can build a new city with higher standards. I don't know where to go! So I will leave myself to my feet. Maybe today I will discover the unknown parts that I haven't visited before.

I walk and walk, passing by building and lots of filthy streets. Passing by women with black cloaks, and men with light heads!

I walk for an hour, as it's shown on my watch.

“Excuse me, where am I?” I ask an old man walking.

“You are near the city's graveyard” he says. And then walk away. But I am still standing. I am near the graveyard, it's the place where Calor is now. I can feel her soul so close to me now. I can hear her voice calling me. A freeze of beauty and warmness tickles my body, dragging me to her grave. I will visit Calor. I missed her so much, I will talk to her. I know that she can hear me.

I know that she is always near. I will just go, I ignore my family's warning about the graveyard and the dangers that I might face if I entered there alone, I open the gate and enter. I follow the road, cause I don't know where exactly her place is. What should I do? I can't find anyone to ask. I need some guide. I look to the sky, please God, guide me to my friend. Please…

I follow the road to where it takes me. I don't know where I am, but I am feeling close; so close. I feel that my soul want to break free and go by itself, I feel that my soul knows where to go. My eyes fall on a woman standing in front of a grave, carrying flowers; white flowers, in her hand there is a tissue, and in her eyes, there is lots of tears, my heart is disturbed inside of me, something is telling me to go to this lady, I get closer and closer to her, I still can't see her face, she is wearing a black cloak, and a black scarf covering most of her hair.

I am one meter behind her now.

“I knew that you would come” she says with a broken voice, with weakness, and with tears falling over her cheeks, with her eyes on the grave and not on me. “Come closer and stand next to me”.

I talk a few steps forward so we both are on the same line. I stand in front of the grave, with my eyes fixed on every detail in front of them. I can feel that my eyes are wet I want to cry. So I do as I want. I am standing in front of Calor, I am standing of every hope I had in my life. We both stand in silence; me and this lady that somehow knows me, and knew that I was coming.

“Sit down” she says pointing at a Flat plane. I sit down and then I look at her. She is an older version of Calor… my god this lady is Calor's mother!

“You look exactly like her” I say with my eyes fixed on her. They don't want to look back. They freeze, as if they are looking at Calor.

“I know, most of her friends told me that too” she smiles while wiping away her tears. “You are Aliter, the boy whom she respected, and whom she cared about” she looks at me and smile a wide smile; calm and beautiful smile; Calor's smile.

I take a deep breath, and I stare at Calor's grave, I know you cared about me, I know you that. You cared about everybody; your heart was the rain that washes away every pain inside.

“I am very happy because I saw you today my son, be strong, and may God stand with me and you in our loss” she says with calm voice. For a while, I feel that I have seen Calor standing next to her, and holding her; telling her to stay strong and not to cry. “So I know you want to talk to her… I mean that's why you came her for right? Cause you need her.” She smiles and walks away.

Hello my friend, how are you? I know you are fine, and I am sure your place is the most beautiful place that was ever seen, if you want to know how I am, well I am not good; actually I am not good at all, I miss you my friend; I miss you so much, and I don't know if I can take it anymore. I want you to promise me that you will always be there for me as we promised each other before, and I will always be there for you, your body is not here, but your soul lives inside of me. I will never forget you; I pray that we all can see you when we are taken back to our creator. I love you… stay beautiful, and stay with me…

I close my eyes, I take a deep breath and I let it go. I can feel a cool breeze covering my entire chest. I am so happy to finally be able to talk to you, I hope that one day I will see you…

I take a step back away from the grave, and say goodbye to my friend, I am ready to go back. As I talk the road back I think of Fera…

She told me to take care of her family, I promised her to do that, but I broke my promises, I am sorry Fera, I will take care of them, and I will take care of you. Everything is going to change. I press my grip and look to the sky and say “Everything is going to change.”