Let You Go

Chapter 12

I took a deep breath. I am preparing myself mentally, emotionally and physically for what is about to come my way. I don't know how bad this is going to be or if it's good, but whatever it is, I'm ready to take it all in. "We found out about you three years ago..." Yane said.

"When you were little, you born in the Sugar Crystal district. You're parents were the King and Queen of Urina and everyone looked up to them. You've were only eight months old when you were taken away from your parents by kidnappers. Your father and mother did anything to get you back, but this was all under the intentions of Jin. He wanted you gone and your parents dead so he can take over the throne and rule over Urina. You're real name is... Yuri..." He said and I took a deep breath.

"You're kidnapper also died and you're other parents found you on the street. We've also looked into your parents and well, they used to have a son name Mio and he ended up getting very ill and ended up dying few days later in the hospital. They also had an older son who moved to carry on his dreams, but died later of the same illness Mio had. Anyways, the reason why these people want you dead and captured is because you're the princess of Urina. You still carry the royal bloodline and Jin wants to end it. He wants to become ruler forever of Urina and he can't if you're still alive. He wants to capture you, imprison you or kill you or much worse."

I'm... I'm a princess? Wait, what? This doesn't seem real to me, like this is all a dream and I'm just waiting to wake up. I can't possibly be a princess. I'm a poor girl who grew up in the Moon district. No way... A lump of throat formed in my throat and I tried swallowing over it. "P-Please... Excuse me..." My voice came out squeaky and it cracked.

I ran away, far as I could, away from the others. Hearing Yane calling my name after to me, but I never stopped and never looked back. Jin wants me dead? Go ahead and kill me because I don't want to be alive right now. My real parents were killed and my parents who adopted me were killed as well. They used to have a son, he was probably their one and only child and I was only his replacement.

I finally stopped, hunching over, out of breath. I sat down against a tree and brought my knees to my chest. I cried silently, but so hard. My whole body shook, but it seemed I couldn't stop myself. I let out small noises here and there but pretty much the rest was silent. Footsteps approached me and I kept my head down. If it was a ninja sent by Jin, they can go ahead and take me. But, if it was Yane or Malin I didn't want to see them. Or Cyan.

Whoever it was, sat down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder and patted it gently. "Nissa..." They whispered and I tried ignoring them. "Nissa. Just look at me... This once..." I slowly turned my head and there sat Cyan, looking at me with concern. "Nissa, I'm sorry..." He said and he held out his arms. I didn't care if this was maybe his first time, I just needed comfort and that was what I was searching for. I leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head onto his chest.

"You're a very strong person, Nissa." He said and I shook my head. "I'm a weakling. I'm a wimp, a chicken and a scaredy-cat that can never face their fears." I said to him and I felt him shake his head.

"You're strong. Super strong for doing this, for holding on for so long without breaking apart so easily. Don't worry, crying is the last stage of your body telling you that you've held it in for quite enough."

"Were you like that with Yona?"

He remained silent and that's when I realized I said something wrong. I tried pulling away from him, but he pulled me close to him. "Yes. I was. Nissa, she was someone I loved, but I realized that I should move on. I felt like I was better off alone. Then, I met you..." He said and I looked up at him. "Nissa... You've changed my whole life."

"And your emotions. It seemed like I angered you more than I ever made you smile." I said quietly as I looked down.

"I guess it was a way of me adjusting."

"Adjusting to what? Adjusting to someone who's a pain in the neck. I'm a thorn in your side."

"Nissa. Why would you think that?"

"Because I do. Isn't it obvious?"

His arms around me tightened and I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear this anymore. I felt as if my heart were to burst out of my chest any moment right now. There was just something about Cyan that made feel different. He made me feel more like a woman, but in a good way. I kept thinking hard about this feeling, but it was only a matter of time that I realized I had feelings for him.

I tensed up a bit, I wanted to cry. He's Yona's. He's Yona's. I'll never be his, stop getting your hopes up. Your a princess and he's a ninja. The two don't match. The more excuses I've tried thinking of, only made me want to cry more. I hate this feeling whenever I'm around Cyan and I hope he doesn't have it. But why would he have it? As I said, I'm just a thorn in his side and it would be better if we were still the way we were before. Strangers. I could live with that and I'm sure he can too.

I rather pretend not to know him, not just that, but pretend that I don't know I'm a princess. I just wish everyone can go back to not knowing my existence and I can go back to living with my parents happily in our house in the Moon district. I want to go back before I ever met Cyan because he made me feel this way and I hated it. I wanted to cry right now because he was still holding me in his arms.

I looked up at his eyes, with tears in mine. "Cyan?"

"Hm?"

"Am I better off alone?"

He looked at me with confusion. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Just alone. From everyone and by myself. I can't love anyone or live with anyone, mind as well just live by myself, right?" I sighed as I turned to look away. "What do you mean by that?"

"I want someone I can't have. It hurts me Cyan..." I said quietly.

"Is it... Kai?"

I fell silent, why would he assume Kai? It's probably because Kai and I grew close during the journey and it only made me think of how Kai is gone.

"It is." Cyan said, sounding so sure.

"No, it's not. I can promise you."

"Then, who is it?"

"I... I can't tell you... Well, more like I shouldn't tell you."

He pulled away slightly and grabbed my arms. "Tell me." He demanded as he shook my arms. "Cyan... I can't... If you know, it'll probably ruin your life." I said and he looked confused. "Tell me." He demanded again and I took a deep breath.

"You." I said and he froze. "Me...what?" He asked me and I took another deep breath. My heart was racing like a wild horse. If my heart was a wild horse it would probably be galloping faster than the speed of lightning through miles and miles of open land. I am trying so hard to keep my heart race down, but it's thumping out of control and I was worried that maybe Cyan could hear it.

"You. You're the one... That I can't have.." I whispered.

"Nissa..."