The Diary

{10}

03-21-19

New school? Going fine. I mean, I'm kinda invisible because no one knows me, but it's better than Ridgewood. My dad and I are getting better, I think.

A highlight is this one boy. He's cute and he talks to me. I guess my standards are kinda low. There's just the feeling in my gut telling me to stay away from him. It's easy right now since I don't even know his name, actually, back track on that. He asked me out. I would've said yes, I would've jumped at the thought of him even existing but I don't want to make the same mistakes. I'm better than that. I am rebuilding my new person.

I close my diary and shove it under my pillow, then putting my pencil into its cup container on the desk. I realize how nice and new the desk looks, almost like the one I have in my room. Man, I miss my room. As I step back and take an actually look at the room do I wonder why it already had a bed in it, and a desk.

I'm interrupted by my own yawning and look at the time on my phone: 12:48 am. I plug my phone into a charger and place it down on the desk. Then I turn the lights off and lay in my bed until I fall asleep.

When I wake up, there's breakfast on the table but no dad in sight. He must've gone to work. I sit down and eat. I just think about the cute boy in school. I know that I shouldn't catch feelings, but I cant help it. I go up to my room and lay down, taking my phone off the counter and going on Tik Tok.

After what seems like minutes, I look at the clock and see that 4 hours pass. Shit. I get up and take a shower and start getting ready for bed. I lie down and just start scrolling through Tik Tok until I fall asleep.

I wake up to my alarm and groan. I didn't want to go to school, but then I did because I was hoping to see that one guy again. It was also sort of a fresh start for me so i kinda had a chance to meet new and real friends.

I turn on my morning playlist and throw on some leggings, an oversized hoodie, and some uggs. I put my hair in a high ponytail. I kinda liked the way I looked. It wasn't bad, but i didn't look a total mess. I look like one of those basic white VSCO girls. If i hear another "sksksks" imma shove my foot down their askskksophagus and stick their hydroflask up their ass.

I start cleaning my room, making sure it looks perfect just in case I make a friend and they come over. I really hate having my room a mess.

I get to school and go to where the guy was last time and what do you know? He's sitting right where he was doing what I'm guessing is his homework. I stand over him, blocking his light.

"Hey." He said excited. "How's the weather up there?"

"It's just fine thank you for asking." I say laughing.

"Sit down so you can feel the weather down here." He had a big smile on his perfect face.

I sat down and saw what he was doing. He was making a sketch and it was amazing. I sat there in awe, staring at his masterpiece. It was a guy ripping edges off a girls picture.

"That's amazing." I blurted.

"Thank you. I like to draw meaningful things. This one shows a guy ripping a girls edges, but he still see her as a masterpiece. When I'm done I'll put a quote that says "You're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece". It's a song quote from-" I cut him off.

"Halsey's song Color's. That's one of my favorite songs from her." He gave me a smile and went back to the sketching.

"Do you do anything that calms your nerves or just something you like to do?" I just do little sketches in my notebook. Nothing that's as amazing at that." I say gesturing his sketch. Then, pulling out my notebook.

I gave it to him and he looked amazed while flipping through the pages. "Mally these are really good."

I just let out a small chuckle. "Thanks."

We just talk until the first bell rings. I get up and walk into the room when the guy pulled my arm.

"You know the offers still on the table. The whole dating thing."

"Thanks." He let go and. I walked into the room.