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C
olbys POV
"Lately, I've been. I been thinkin' I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier."
The song played through my car speakers as I drove to Y/ns house. I bought her flowers, and chocolate but I don't think she's going to care too much for them when I explain to her how I feel. I love, sorry scratch that. I loved Y/n with my entire heart and soul but lately sam and I have been doing so good with our channel and stuff, I'm always on the road and away from her. I know she gets lonely & sad when I'm gone and I can only imagine what she feels those days and nights that I'm not by her side. So, I have to break the news that we should stop being with each other. She deserves someone who will and can give her love and attention 24/7. She shouldn't have to wait for me every single night.
As I drove, I just imagined how making her cry would hurt me. She doesn't deserve to be hurt or cry over someone like me. She's beautiful, funny, so smart and has so much going for her. It needs to be done though, because I'll be leaving for 2 weeks for a TFIL video. She doesn't live far, but it feels like this drive was shorter than usual. I sat there for a little bit, then finally found the courage to get out and knock on her door. She immediately answered and had the biggest smile on her face. Gosh, I love that smile of hers. She pulled me into the biggest hug and kissed me. This is so hard. "Hey! What did you wanna talk about?" Her angelic voice was like music to the ears. She invited me in and I sat down. Not wasting anymore time, I just blurted it out. "I think we should break up." I said, my hands were sweating and I didn't even have the heart to look at her but I could tell that her smile fell. It was silent for a moment. "What do you mean?" She asked, her voice was shaky and my heart was really hurting. "I spend too much time on the ride I can barely love you and show you attention. You deserve someone that will love you all day, every day. Yes, Y/n. I love you so much but it's not healthy for you to sit and miss me every day/night. You deserve someone who can make you happier than I ever could." I say and she just looks at me, her beautiful (y/e/c) eyes with tears flowing out of them. That's what I didn't want to see. "I am happy with you. You're all I want and need." She said, her voice cracked through the whole sentence. I shake my head, "No y/n. I can't do this. Seeing you upset is what I don't like. Please find someone who isn't always busy/working. I'll always love you, but you deserve better." I got up and kissed her on her forehead. Without looking back, I walked out of the door and out of her life. She was amazing and I lost her because I couldn't love her.
"Then only for a minute I want to change my mind 'Cause this just don't feel right to me I wanna raise your spirits I want to see you smile but Know that means I'll have to leave"
