Half of What I Could Be

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After the "freak out," I went to the front office to see Miss. Hayes. Miss. Hayes was the Secretary at the highschool who also daylighted as an unlicensed nurse. She knew of my situation, and never cared if I left school early. In reality, she did not have much say as I was now 18 and legally was able to do what I wanted... With some limitations of course. I liked Miss. Hayes. She was always nice to me, and let me lay in the sick room whenever I wanted. Did I take advantage of how leniate she was? I would be lying if I said I didn't.

The drive home was short, but because my mind spun rapidly out of control, it felt like forever. I drove a beat up 2013 Jeep Wrangler that used to belong to my Grandmother before she passed. It was a bright fuchsia that sported a nice two-foot long scratch on the passenger side. It wasn't my fault. My brother, in one of his many drunken adventures, thought he could fit the car between two trees. Even drunk, he should have been able to see how close together they were. My brother and I used to share it before he went to Gamma Training in Arizona. For the next few weeks, Janet was all mine.

The whole seven minute drive home was a long blur. I did not remember the actual driving part, which was probably really bad. I just went into overdrive and let my reflexes and subconscious takeover while I called "My Psychotic Break," over and over in my head. In summary, I saw a disgusting monster, who reeked of rotten flesh and death. Yet, no one else noticed. It was like I got a new Imaginary friend. If that was the case, my mind would be pretty fucked up.

My house was positioned a quarter mile off a dirt road, which in the winters was hazardous to drive down. It was in the center of a large clearing that my dad had to spend hours every weekend mowing. There was a mix of birch and pine trees in the vicinity of my house that made a kind of faux fence. My house was ranch style, that was originally an auburn brown. When my parents bought it ages ago (25 years ago) my mother decided to paint it white. It has not been painted since then, and it was long overdue to get touched up. When you look at the front of the house, you see the screens of the sunroom, and a bright red door leading into it. The screens had tares littered throughout, which substituted as tiny little entryways for the mosquitoes to enter through in the summer. The red of the door was my favorite part of the abode. It added the splash of color that it needed.

I opened the door, and walked through the now empty sunroom and into the kitchen. We moved all the furniture out of the sunroom as it was only a matter of time before the snow set in. My kitchen and living room were all in one giant room, which was difficult sometimes when one person was watching TV and the other was trying to cook and listen to music. In the past year, my mother, who I believed went through a midlife crisis, tried to redo the whole kitchen. Key word: Tried.

She finished the counter top, thank god. It was now a beautiful gray, marble like counter. I knew it was not actually marble as she was way too cheap to purchase that. She had the money, though. She had a preconceived notion that my brother or I would somehow ruin it, and so she didn't want to invest that much. William did have a tendency to break the unbreakable: AKA three cars before Janet and one bathroom sink.

The part where my mother faltered was when it came to the cabinets. I think when she started painting them a cracked white, she got bored. She painted two of them, and then stopped. She left the other four a mahogany red, and said she would get to them later. For her "Later" was a direct translation for "Never."

Right when the full kitchen came into view, I noticed a small piece of notebook paper, which was not ripped out well. It was littered on the countertop. I walked over to it and saw a note scribbled on it. The note said, "Your Dad had a meeting in Chicago with another pack, decided to tag along to see your Aunt. Your leftover birthday cake is in the fridge and some Mac and Cheese is in the pantry. Also, call me or text me when you get this so I know your home. Love you!!!!"