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Yoongi stared sightlessly at the beige white ceiling, the back of his hand pressed against his forehead.
His other hand toyed absentmindedly with the necklace encircling his neck, a small ring hanging on it. The letters Y&A were delicately engraved on it.
Ever since Aera returned it to him, and by return he meant throw it in his face in a violent fit of rage, he hadn't stopped carrying it with himself everywhere he went. It was way too small to fit him, so he put it around his neck instead and hid it behind his shirt.
He had gotten so used to it that it had almost become a part of him, but it would always remind him of itself when his feelings for her would resurface, resulting in the burning sensation the ring would provoke on his skin.
No one could know about it and Yoongi did his best to keep it to himself that he was still holding onto this reminder of her, and as all the secrets Min Yoongi had, he buried it somewhere deep, deep inside his conscious even he couldn't reach.
A man should protect all of his secrets fiercely, his father used to tell him, if anyone uncovers your secrets you've exposed yourself to vulnerability and vulnerability is deadly.
So Yoongi grew up to be a man who kept secrets. A lot of secrets. His whole being was one giant enigma and there were corners of his soul that remained undiscovered even for him.
The little boy hiding deep inside him was a secret. The boy who never really stopped crying, the boy who'd lay in bed at night and listen to the sounds of shouting, screaming and glass shattering, the boy who'd press his face harder into the pillow his small body was wrapped around and sob quietly, the boy who'd wake up the next morning and ponder the purple 'flowers' blossoming on his mother's face, legs and ribs.
In those cold nights a monster was born inside of Yoongi, a monster molded from the pain that kept on festering underneath the surface like an infected wound. That monster was a Liar, it was cold, emotionless and ruthless, it lied and tricked everyone around him just like his mother would lie and trick that everything was fine, that her marriage was a loving one, that her husband would never lay a hand on her and those bruises were just the result of her clumsiness of falling down the stairs.
He hated her, he hated his father, he hated everyone, he blamed them for his mother's battered face and bloody tears but most of all he hated her for staying silent.
Yoongi was desperate to flee the violent reality so he closed off in himself, he created this persona of someone capable of nonchalant ease, someone indifferent, unmoved and unbothered. He veiled the internal brokenness with a layer of detachment, apathy and cynicism. His mind was the only shield he had so he worked on it, he developed it until it was his most powerful and cherished tool.
Love is compromise and making sacrifices, his mother would tell him but this statement disgusted him, it made him loathe her for she had allowed a man to crush every ounce of self-worth she had with power and malice.
