Return II

Chapter 13

My grandparents don't drive away until I open the doors to my school and walk inside. It kind of annoys me, but I bypass it. 

Kids flood the hallways and their reactions when they see me are almost priceless. I push past all of them, though, and head straight to my locker. I open the metal door and search for the supplies I will need for the day. 

I grab my school I.D. and some notebooks along with folders and my pencil case, then head to  my first class. If this was any other day, I would be glad to not come to school, but I need a distraction.

I walk into my first class, English, and take a seat towards the back of the room. My teacher and a few classmates notice me and wide smiles plaster their faces. 

"Michael!" They all greet me excitedly. 

It feels weird to be called Michael. I don't really like it, but that's what I told people to call me at school or in public. I only allow people I care for, like close friends and family, to call me Blanket; even though I have been called by that nickname my whole life. 

It takes me a second to realize that I have two lives now, and the one where my dad is still alive and my twin sister is dying in the hospital is nonexistent in this one.

I shyly smile and nod, waving at the people who acknowledge me. I just want the day to be over with already. I don't want anyone talking to me or asking me questions. The last thing I need right now is to be pestered by outside influences.

"Michael, if you would. We never got to hear your 'If I Were You and You Were Me' speech." Mrs. Myer declares. I look up at her with wide eyes. It seems as if it was forever ago that we were working on those projects; when in reality it has only been about a week and a half.

Then everything went downhill.

"Um, my partner isn't here." I say, clearing my throat as soon as the last word is spoken. I hadn't realized how little I have spoken in so long until I do, and my voice cracks.

"That's okay. Come on up." Mrs. Myer proceeds anyway. 

As much as I do not want to stand up in front of the class on my first day back and talk about my sister, I do anyway. I mean, I did say that I wanted to come back to school, so I may as well participate.

I shuffle through my English folder until I find the sheet of paper I had been using to take notes on Natalie. I never got to writing an actual summary, but this is better than nothing. Besides, I can speak from the top of my head. I have done nothing but compare my life to Natalie's the past few weeks anyway.

I slowly stand from my seat and walk toward the front of the class. I ignore all of the kids' eyes following me as I walk past them. My heart begins to pound and I receive an uncomfortable feeling as soon as I reach the front of the classroom.

The last thing I wanted to do today was think about Natalie, and now I have to talk about her. 

"Start whenever you're ready, dear." Mrs. Myer announces and I nod. I inhale and exhale deeply before beginning. I keep my eyes on the paper because the classmates' reactions and comments will only make me upset.

"If I were Natalie Spethan, I would be happy." I begin, inhaling and exhaling to keep my emotions shallow.

"She lives a good life, one with happiness and adventure. She is clueless to the most obvious things, yet she seems to understand them better than anyone else. If I were Natalie Spethan, I would not take things for granted. Things like going out it public and being seen as a normal person and not a pop star's kid. I would enjoy the things I have and live life to the fullest. I would take advantage of the freedom and embrace it. If I were Natalie Spethan, I wouldn't let the little things get to me and I would be so thankful for the things that I have. I would be sorry for doing the things I have done and I'd feel horrible for getting into that accident. Though Natalie and I live lives that happen to be very similar, if I were her, I would be proud to have the one she was given."

My speech was not very long, and I did not have many notes on my paper, but that was all I could think if at the moment. Most of it came from the top of my head, purely thought of last minute and strangely put together in a very good way; if I do say so myself. There are so many more things I could have said, but I didn't want to say the wrong thing. That's another thing my sister and I have in common. We're not afraid to speak our minds at any given moment, but we are afraid to say the wrong things. And as soon as we say the wrong things, we cannot take them back. And that's why I bottle everything up.

The class claps their hands together for about two minutes. Mrs. Myer has to tell them to calm down because they begin whistling and cheering. I can't help but smile and laugh a little. I know Natalie would have done the same thing. And I can't help but wonder how her speech would have went.

When Mrs. Myer finally gets the class to calm down, the entire room falls completely silent. Not a word, sound, sniffle or anything in between falls from a single person for the longest time.

. . .

The day flies by and Prince catches me in the hallway on my way to my locker.

"Blanket, what are you doing here?" He asks, clearly surprised in the realest way, and I look up at him. "Learning." My smart-ass self replies. I can't help the laugh that escapes my mouth and my brother rolls his eyes. 

"I thought you were with grandma and grandpa and all them visiting Natalie." Prince questions and I sigh. "I always wonder: are you gonna become a lawyer?" Prince makes a dull face and I smile. "I decided to come to school." I add in an annoyed tone. "I thought you weren't ready yet." Prince questions again in a confused tone and I become even more annoyed.

"Why does everyone seem to think they know how I feel?" I begin to raise my voice and Prince glares at me. "For all you know, I couldn't care at all about any of this." My brother raises his hand. He tries to place it on my shoulder, but I swat it away.

"Blanket, what has gotten into you?" Prince asks and I glare up at him. "Everything." I fire back and he looks at me as if I had just killed someone. 

"Look, I know you're upset, we all are, but you need to take it easy." 

Those words throw me over the edge. My anger takes over my actions and my arm is lifted from my side. Before I can control my movements, my fist connects with my brother's cheek.