tick tock

three

billie holds my hand tightly as she pulls me to her car. I keep it eyes glued to the ground, my curly hair falling into my face. when billie stops in front of a vehicle, I look up and see the sexiest vehicle I've ever seen.

she releases my hand and walks over to the driver's side of the matte black dodge challenger. I stand still, stunned at the pure beauty of the car.

"what's the matter?" billie asks, looking at over the roof of the car.

"your car-" I begin, but the jerking of my neck interrupts me.

"I know, it's hot as hell," she says with a laugh, opening the door. "get in, bro, dragon's ready to fly."

"dragon?" I ask, opening the passenger side and sliding in carefully. the floor board was filled with empty - or almost empty - bags of takis, as well as burrito wrappers and  empty cans of redbull. I try not to make too much noise with my feet as I close the door softly, pulling the seatbelt over my shoulder.

"that's my babys name," she grins, petting the steering wheel adoringly. "sorry about the mess - I basically live in my car."

"I understand that," I shrug, my neck jerking a bit. my hair falls into my face slightly and my hand shakes as I push the strand behind my ear.

she speeds down the street, ignoring the three stop signs near our school, and a cheeky smile spreads across her lips. goosebumps arise on my arms when the revving of the engine fills my ears. she grabs her phone from the pocket of her shorts and hands it to me.

"go to my downloaded and choose a song," she tells me, taking a sharp left turn. the tires squeal at the action and I let out an amused yet frightened laugh.

I grip her phone in my hand as I scroll through her downloaded songs. I give up after a while and press shuffle, loud bass filling the small car.

billie shuffles in her seat, sitting straight up. "this song is fire, bro!"

she accelerates as she turns down a dirt road, her slender fingers tapping on the steering wheel as she sings along to a song I didnt know.

my grandmother never lets me listen to music like this. she says that whoever listens to it gets brought into a gang. whoever sings it, however, is going straight to Hell.

I roll my eyes at the thought of my grandmother, my elbow raising to rest on the door. I lean my head against my hand and stare out the window, listening to Billie rap along with the song.

I could feel the loud bass thumping in my chest as the song changed. the feeling was foreign to me, and made my heart race. my head jerked slightly and a seething whisper of, "motherfucker," left my lips as my squeeze my eyes closed. my hands form fists and I take a shaky deep breath.

the car turns right onto a rocky path, and I look around curiously. theres nothing but trees and and dirt around us, and although the sky was bright and sunny, I felt a dark presence around me.

is she gonna murder me?

"relax," billie yells over the music, glancing over at me with a grin. "im taking you where I go when I need to calm down."

i nod reluctantly and look out the window once more.

minutes later, billie pulls the car over a small hill and pushes the gear into park. she pulls the key out of the ignition and opens the door, climbing out of the car. I do the same and look up at the sky, slow moving cirrus clouds litter the sky.

as I close the door, billie walks up to me and looks at me with a bright smile. my ears finally tune in to nature, and the soft chirping of birds and rusting of the trees in the wind. i smile to myself as i close my eyes, just listening to the calming sounds of nature.

"now you know why i come out here," she says quietly, taking my hand into hers. i intertwine our fingers as my eyes stayed closed. 

for a moment, all i could think about was how calm and happy the outside world made me. with billie's hand in mine, and the birds singing, my heart was slowly beating. my ticks had disappeared for that moment, and it was just billie, the birds, and i.

i squeeze her hand and open my eyes, looking over at her. she was already looking at me, her crystal blue eyes squinting slightly as her teeth hold her bottom lip. "what are you looking at?" i ask softly, chewing on my own bottom lip. the way she was looking at me made me slightly nervous.

"you really don't know how precious you are," she tells me softly, brushing my hair back gently. "all you see are your ticks and your stutter - but you haven't stuttered since we were in the bathroom at school - and for the first time since i met you, your body isn't shaking."

my cheeks flush and i look down, my neck jerking almost immediately after she finishes speaking. 

she lets out a deep sigh, pulling my body into hers. "this is my hiding place," she tells me, burying her face in my neck. "no one knows about this place - except you."

my eyes close at the feeling of warm breath on my neck and i wrap my arms around her waist gently, my hands fiddling with her shirt. "i appreciate what you're doing, but i really don't want to intrude-"

"that's bullshit," she says in a whisper, pulling away from my neck and cupping my cheeks with her cold hands. "this isn't just my place now - this is our place; you're welcome to come here, literally, any time you need to."

i hide my face in her neck, my hands gripping tightly onto her shirt as she holds me close.