tick tock

fifteen

my mind cant focus on the bronte novel being spoken about in my english literature class. all i can think about is how my father reacted to the love bites billie had left on my skin, and how i need to secretly buy more color corrector and concealer to keep covering the dark marks.

billie hasnt been to school in two days, and she hasnt been answering my texts or calls. it's like she completely disappeared off of the face of the earth.

you would understand my mixed emotions of confusion, excitement, anger, and lust, when she walks into the crowded classroom about twenty minutes late and throws herself into the chair right behind mine.

i try to keep my nerves at bay, but my ticks have other plans. as soon as I hear her deep grumble of, 'i shouldve dipped when i had the chance,' my neck began jerking sporadically and the curse words just started pouring from my lips.

"fuckin cunt- motherfucker- goddamn- may I be excused?" I say loudly through clenched teeth, my hand raising to get the teachers attention.

"watch the language, miss carter," she says with a sigh before motioning to the door. "make it quick, viviana."

I nod and grab my bag, slinging it over my shoulder and darting out of the room. I turn to the right and make my way to the large double doors, forcing them open so the cool december air would hit my face.

i take a deep breath of the fresh air and make my way toward the football field, taking a seat underneath the bleachers. I close my eyes and inhale the crisp air once again, my neck jerking harshly.

i hear a pop as my neck jerks, and tears fill my eyes as i was unable to move my neck back to it's original position. I grip onto my backpack tightly as tears fall from my eyes, my hands scrambling to pull my phone from the front pocket of my bag.

i press a few buttons on the screen before pressing the phone to my ear.

"where are you?" the voice asks immediately. "what happened?"

"it hurts," I say in a strained voice, a soft sob leaving my lips. "im under the bleachers-"

"I'll be there in two," click!

I set my phone in my lap and bring my hands to my neck, trying to relax the tight muscles. as I do so, my neck tries to jerk again, causing me to cry out.

"motherfucker!" I shout in pain, my feet hitting the ground repeatedly as frustration courses through my veins.

I hear the soft sound of footsteps in the slight distance before they speed up and become louder, feeling arms wrap around my body.

"tell me where it hurts, baby," she mumbles softly, turning my body so im facing her. she cups my cheeks in her hands, forcing me to look in to her crystal blue eyes.

"i c-cant move my n-neck," I stutter, more tears falling from my eyes as another slight jerk of the neck forces a strangled scream to leave my lips. "billie, it h-hurts!"

"i know, viv," billie murmurs softly, her hands making their way to the back of my neck. she presses her fingers into the nape of my neck, rubbing small circles into the tense skin. "just breathe, baby girl."

I move closer to her, my hands gripping tightly onto her thighs as I wince at the pain. the pressure of her fingers digging into my skin was both calming and painful at the same time. she continues her movements for a few moments before pulling her hands away slightly, cracking her fingers before putting her hands back on my neck, this time having her thumbs closer to my jaw.

"i need you to take a deep breath for me," she whispers softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I nod slightly and take a deep breath, feeling billie slowly move my head to each side. I hear multiple cracks in my neck as she moves my head up and down, the pain almost becoming unbearable.

"stop!" I yell in a whisper, my nails digging into her gym short covered thighs. " i  c-cant - it hurts to bad."

"trust me," she murmurs softly, using her thumb to wipe the tears from my cheeks. "you're going to feel so much better, i promise you."

i look at her, seeing her eyes start to gloss over. i let out a deep sigh as I lean into her hands, my eyes squeezing closed. she continues to massage my neck and move my head in various patterns for several minutes before the pain subsided slightly and i could finally move.

I bury my face in her chest as the tears dry on my cheeks, my hands gripping onto her tshirt. "thank you." I whisper softly, exhaustion taking over my body. "im sorry for pulling you out of class."

"dont worry," she says with a small laugh, her fingers tracing shapes into my back. "that class is boring as hell."

"we should probably get back," I say softly, pulling away from her embrace.

"no," she says shortly, pulling me back to her body. "i havent seen you in what feels like a goddamn week, so you're staying right here - with me - so i can just be with you without people fucking it up."

I nod slightly at her words, my eyes closing as I inhale her soft vanilla and honey scent. "you're too good to me," I mumble under my breath.

I feel her grip on my body tighten as she presses a kiss to my forehead. "im just giving you what you deserve."

this is really shitty but hello.

im hella stressed and kind of confused and scared at the same time and i dont know what exactly to do at the moment but here you go.

have fun.

love yall.