Better Than Milkshakes, Better Than Boys (girlxgirl)

[19]

The thought of going into school this morning makes me nervous. I feel like this weekend was a bubble I found myself in, and now that it's ended this bubble will have popped and things will be awkward and uncomfortable. I say that because I am definitely going to be the awkward and uncomfortable one.

I'm currently looking at myself in the mirror and trying not to psyche myself out as I throw my hair into a high ponytail. My breathing is coming out uneven as I let my hands drop to my sides, my nerves higher than before any game I've ever played.

I don't know why the thought of seeing Mackenzie Daniels in all of her gorgeous, blonde glory is making me break out in palm sweats more than it used to before we kissed at Peter's party. Surely a couple of kisses can't change the dynamic of the flirtationship we had undoubtedly created so much so that we can't act normal around each other.

Yep, it definitely can and that's because I'm the other half of the flirtationship. I'm awkward enough when it's a boy that I have feelings for (I liked a few boys in freshman year and I'm now no longer friends with them because of this) without needing to add on the fact that Mackenzie is a girl and I'm not out yet.

"Get a grip." I mumble as I tug on the long sleeves of my tight fitting white shirt, grabbing my leather jacket from the back of my desk chair before exiting my room. The fall weather has taken a turn and I woke up freezing this morning, the temperature in my room similar to that of outside according to the weather app on my phone.

My house is silent as per usual as I grab a banana from the fruit bowl in the kitchen, not really bothering with breakfast after I overslept this morning. My mom and dad left for work over an hour ago and my brother is back at college and won't be home till thanksgiving now. I roll my eyes at the sight of a note with some money sitting atop one of the counters, no doubt written by my mom telling me to buy something in for tea as I'll be eating by myself once again.

I grab the money and shove it into the back pocket of my dark jeans as I decide I'll try and drag April or Gemma to Benny's after soccer practice, promising that I'll buy their food as a way of blackmailing them to drop whatever plans they have so I'm not alone.

You could just ask Mackenzie.

I roll my eyes at my inner voice and walk out of my house with my sports bag over my shoulder, a slouch in my step at the thought of having a school day that won't end till six. I also have my fifth lesson sat next to the walking epitomy of my inner turmoil, which only makes me walk that little bit slower.

"Get a goddamn grip!" I growl as I slam my hands into my steering wheel, my eyes glued to the tremor in them. "This is seriously pathetic."

I turn the key in the ignition and pull out of my driveway, not bothering with music as school isn't that far away. Leaves are blowing across most of the deserted back roads I use to avoid morning traffic, piles upon piles of the fallen gathered up into mounds at the end of gardens.

I arrive at school with fifteen minutes to spare, allowing me enough time to head to my locker and swap out my books before homeroom where I'll no doubt be teased by Faye for Sunday because I'm pretty sure she caught me kissing Mackenzie again when we were on the couch.

I shake my head as I jump out of my car, leaving my sports bag in the back seat as it won't take me two seconds to grab before training so don't bother lugging it around school all day. Faye won't bring it up, at least I hope she won't when April is around, because she is a whole different level of pestering.

Whilst Faye might drop something at the end of a lesson, April won't drop it for a whole week. Her constant grip on things that need to be let go has been a big reason for a few of our fallouts over the years.