The Forgiven (Zutara)

Drown Me Out

I took a deep breath before walking into gran gran's hut. She wouldn't even turn to look at me. "Gran gran, can we speak?" I asked.

"Don't call me that. You're no granddaughter of mine." She spat. I sighed and stared at the ground playing with my hands.

"Please hear me out. The man who killed my mother has now become my prisoner. And he will pay for as long as he is alive. I promise you that. But you cannot blame Zuko for mother's death. And you cannot fault me for being with him." I said.

"And who the hell are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?" She asked.

"I love him. You once told me that as long as I truly loved whoever I was with then it didn't matter who they were." I said.

"It's just infatuation, it's not love." She still wouldn't look at me.

"Yes, it is love. I can't imagine being separated from him. Please, think of the future. When I have kids and they ask for their grandma, you're the only grandmother I'm going to be able to give them. When I imagine my future husband there's no other face I see than Zuko's. Please. Can't you just not hate him?" I asked gently coming to stand in front of her. "Can't you just try to see him for the good, kind, protective, young man that he is?" I asked. She scoffed.

"Did it occur to you that you have the wrong guy?" She asked. I furrowed my brows. "Who told you that man was responsible for your mother's death?" She asked.

"No one- I-" she cut me off before I could finish it.

"Did Zuko? How else would you have known? No one besides your mother ever saw his face, how the hell could you know that he is the one who killed your mother?  Did it occur to you that he is lying?" She asked. I sighed.

"No. It didn't. Because he didn't tell me that the General is my mother's killer. No one did. I was there. I watched mother die. I remember his eyes, that's how I knew." I said. Her eyes went wide.

"What do you mean you were there?" She asked standing up angrily.

"She died in my place. The General wasn't going to hurt her, he was going to hurt me. She traded her life for mine." I said. Her entire demeanor changed.

"You killed my baby." She whispered in disbelief. I sighed trying to think of anything I could say to console her. Just then my father walked in.

"I think I've heard enough gran gran. You need to get some air." He demanded rather than suggested. His voice was cold. He was angry at her for saying what she said but I didn't blame her.

"You're a murderer." She whispered as she walked past me. I winced at her words unable to look at her. My father stepped in front of me holding my shoulders.

"She's not wrong," I whispered. "I killed her same as if I was the one who slit her throat," I whispered.

"No. You didn't. She knew what she was doing, she knew how it would end when she offered her life instead. And still, she did it. The only person to blame for her death is that man on the ship. And that's it. She's angry. She doesn't mean what she's saying." He said. I shrugged.

"Yes, she does. And she isn't wrong. I did kill mom. She wouldn't have died had I not been in the room with her." I said.

"Maybe. And maybe she wouldn't have died had I been in the room with her. That's something I've struggled with for years but am I the one who killed her? No. Had I been in the room I might've been able to save her, but I wasn't in the room, and I didn't save her. But I didn't kill her. And neither did you.  These are the things we must learn to live with. Gran gran is wrong. She's old and cranky, and she doesn't like who you're dating, whatsoever. She's going to be unkind. I don't know how long she will act this way, but it's just something you're going to have to face. She's not going to like Zuko. In her eyes all fire nation people are equal. Everyone's a ruthless murderer, everyone's the one who killed your mother. But she's wrong. I like Zuko as if he were my own son, and Sokka loves him as well, so what she doesn't like him? Either she'll learn to like him or she won't and she'll just have to shut her mouth and put up with it." He comforted me, wrapping one of his arms around my shoulders. I sighed and leaned further into his comfort.

"What about my wedding? How am I supposed to have her there if she's glaring at Zuko the entire time?" I asked.

"Put a cloth over her head." He said. I chuckled. "We will figure something out, but as far as right now goes she's going to throw a tantrum just let her. She'll learn to accept it, you, and him." He continued. I sighed and hugged him tightly. 

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "And is that true about what you said? About caring for Zuko as if he were your son?" I asked. He smiled and nodded.

"Yes but don't tell him that. I like to think that I intimidate him." Dad said with an arm wrapped around my shoulders. I chuckled.

"Trust me, you do. But I would think it might benefit him to know. Especially with everything coming up and he's going to have to face his real father, I think he's going to want to know that someone is there in that sense for him. I mean, you know since he's most definitely the person I'm going to marry and you'll be his father in law anyways." I chuckled. He groaned.

"Stop. You're reminding me how you've grown. It's giving me a headache." He said pressing against his temple with his other hand. I chuckled, as did he. "But truly when the day comes for your union with him, I will happily give you to him, I wasn't sure what to think of him at first. I will admit I was wary, but I do like him." He said. I smiled.

"I'm glad you like him, you know especially since we never really talked to you about him and I being a thing. To be fair, we never even talked about it with each other it just happened." I shrugged. He chuckled.

"Well then I take it he didn't tell you but he did talk to me about you." He said. I scoffed.

"Of course he did. See? I told you, you intimidate him." I laughed. "Speaking of which. I should probably get back to him, he really is worried about me." I said he nodded. "I will gather everyone and we will leave tonight." He said. I nodded and waved goodbye to him quickly boarding the ship. I walked into our room and jumped onto the bed right next to him with a smile on my face.

"The talk went good I take it?" Zuko asked smiling.

"Actually, Your Majesty, Hell no. In fact, it went worse than I ever could've imagined." I replied. He propped himself up on his elbow with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Then why are you so giddy?" He asked, confusion plain as day on his face.

"Well, I would've thought that be obvious," I said. He gave me an even more confused look. I smiled. "Because I'm with you, stupid. Besides I had a talk with my dad about you and it just brought up a lot of happy thoughts about the future and I-I don't know. It was nice honestly. Well despite my talk with gran gran." I shrugged. He grabbed my hand.

"I'm not great at consoling people, but, do you want to talk about it?" He asked. I sighed and laid on my back, grabbing his hand, and playing with his fingers as I was talking.

"She called me a murderer. I guess I am considering I have killed people. But she said that I killed my mother. I told her she died for me and in turn, she said that I murdered her." I sighed. I heard him sigh as well.

"Listen to me, what happened to your mother was tragic but you are not-" I cut him off.

"Oh no don't worry. I already talked with my dad about it and he explained it time in a way that I could sympathize with and relate to." I said. He nodded and laid back onto his chest. "I wanna marry you someday Zuko," I said after some silence. He went back to propping himself on his elbow and smiled.

"You know I want to marry you too, just as soon as my father is no longer Firelord and I'm able to give you a proper wedding, but as of right now I have absolutely nothing to offer you." He said I shook my head.

"Don't worry I'm not proposing we get married tomorrow, but surely you know that material things don't matter to me. Big fancy dress, huge buffet, with just about everyone under the sun holds no meaning for me. I'd just as soon it be just us with our closest loved ones." I shrugged. "Firelord or not. Prince or not. I love Zuko. With or without your title." I said still playing with his fingertips.

"Did I tell you how much I love you?" He asked hovering over me. I smiled and cupped his face.

"No, but by all means, do fully express the extent of your love for me," I smirked. He got the idea and smirked as well, kissing my lips then down my chest.