A Certain Romance || Ashton Irwin

A Party and A Penis

To sum up the game: we beat HF and we beat them bad. The final score came out to 45 to 7. HF threw three interceptions and had two fumbles - all within the first 5 minutes of the game.

Ashton did well for his first game - or first time ever playing American football. He had quite the throwing arm, Michael could see why coach might've recruited Ashton to the team and made him the starting quarterback. Our original first-string quarterback was out for the season because of some surgery-ending injury that happened in the first game of the season and the second-string couldn't run the ball for shit.

I kicked a few red solo cups out of my path to the buzzing mansion before me. Someone was already puking in the bushes, a couple was dry humping in the front lawn and the school mascot had someone's thong on his huge ass leopard head. I pretended to be okay with the sights in front of me. The last party I went to was Luke's sweet sixteen. No, that was not an error. His mom and dad actually gave him a sweet sixteen. Michael snuck a bottle of tequila in to the party, ended up getting Luke drunk off his ass and the party went downhill from there, as anyone could imagine.

"My mom's going to be so mad at me for coming to something like this." Luke gulped.

"Lie to her, Luke, we've gone through this." Michael groaned, completely annoyed with Luke at the moment. (Completely annoyed with Luke for life, honestly.) "Just lie to her."

"She says liars go to hell." Luke mumbled.

"We all go to hell Luke!" Michael exclaimed, pushing open the front door to Calum's house.

And that was basically how we ended up losing Luke as he ran through the crowds of people, sobbing and not wanting to believe we all go to hell.

-

"Look at him, Sage." Michael scoffed, staring at someone across the room.

"Who am I supposed to be looking at?" I furrowed my eyebrows and squinted my eyes to focus my vision.

"Calum." Michael said in a you-should-already-know voice. "Just 'cause he's had a coupla cans he thinks it's alright to act like a dickhead."

Calum was standing by the DJ busting a few odd dance moves and sending winks to any girl he made eye contact with.

"Where's Luke?" An hour passed and we still hadn't found Luke. With an amount of liquid courage he was probably chatting up the cheerleaders with a sob story or exchanging hair care product reviews.

"Who knows?" Michael rolled his eyes, bringing his red cup to his lips. "He could be sucking off that new jackass Ashton right now and we wouldn't even know it."

"Ashton's right there with Calum now." I pointed into the direction I hoped Calum was still in since by back was now facing him.

Calum stood behind Ashton, laughing away as Ashton playfully grinded back on Calum to the beat of Love Sosa by Chief Keef. Calum placed his hands on Ashton's hips and Ashton began running his tongue along his lips. The girls around the two were dying of laughter and spilling their cheap beer all over the rug they stood over.

"Can this music get anymore awful?" Michael grabbed my wrist and led us to dining room. Michael was convinced the dining room would be safe. Wrong.

I had had my share of accidental porn and intentional porn, but I never thought I would walk in on a girl giving a blow job to Leo The Leopard with the entire mascot costume on.

Michael pulled his phone from his pocket and snapped a picture, cheering, "Memories!"

We skipped the dining room and made ourselves comfortable in the kitchen. Michael began charging outrageously drunk "Holy strangers" every time they'd come up for a refill on their drinks.