his first laugh || arthur fleck x reader

chp 7 - alter ego

"Baby, you awake?" a gentle familiar voice spoke into my ear, its skin brushing against mine. My eyes slowly opened, but a blur covered my vision. The room was still dark, even if it was already daytime, the curtains couldn't block all the light from outside. As my vision cleared up, I felt a heavy weight on my body and an arm laying on my stomach.

"Hey.. Artie," my cranky voice giggled as I saw Artie laying beside me, spooning me. He glanced at me with a big warm smile on his face and hugged me even tighter. "What time is it?"

He head turned around to look at the time, and it was only 4:20AM. I groaned as I let down my weight on the soft bed, tracing on the white sheets. Arthur began to softly kiss my neck, like sweet alcohol dripping on my skin as he gently bit on my skin, causing hickeys. I let out a soft moan as I grabbed his hand that was laying on my hips.

"Wh-why aren't you.." my voice trailed as his kisses got stronger on my skin, making me moan louder and his hand crawled down to my thighs. "...sleeping?"

I heard a deep chuckle escape his lips, "I couldn't sleep, my dear."

As soon as he lifted his head from my neck, I quickly turned around to face him before he could continue on. He pouted, realising I was no longer in the position I was in, and traced on my neck. Suddenly, I felt this heavy weight on my chest when I realised that it wasn't Arthur that was kissing me the whole time. It was Joker, his alter ego.

Arthur had this tendency to turn into that inner demon that slowly formed the moment the society of Gotham began to treat him like shit. That inner demon was his alter ego, and he tended to come out of Arthur when he was in deep stress and anger or when he was in complete anxiety and uncertainty of something. In this case, it was, for some unknown reason, this.

"J-Joker," I stuttered nervously as I slowly slipped away from his gentle grasp. He gave a sly grin as his pupils dilated, craving for intimacy. I wasn't exactly comfortable with Joker yet, though he had rights to be who he was. Then again, Joker was who I first met before Arthur came.

"It's been a long time, don't you think?" he chuckled, shifting closer to my body, warm from uncertainty. It had been a long time since I encountered this side of Arthur, but why did he-

"Remember the day we met?" he asked, smirking as his hands crawled up my face, "that night was definitely something I can't forget."

"Wh-what do you want?" I hissed. He chuckled faintly as he forcefully pulled me closer to him.

"Why so scared, doll?" he pouted, "you definitely weren't when he first me- oh! Oh no, Arthur isn't making you soft, is he?"

My eyes widened as he spat Arthur's name like that. I could feel my blood boiling with fear and madness, my body trembling with the urge to punch his face, but also scared of what he would do. Despite all of the anger, I knew I couldn't do it. I was looking at Arthur's face, not Joker. Not his makeup, just Arthur's bare face being controlled by his inner demon. 

A part of me knew that showing fear would give him more power, more ideas to cause more immense fear, so I got out of bed as I felt the heat of his glance burning me through every move I made. He wanted rough, I showed him rough. I gave him a glare, scanning his body language as I clenched my jaws. "What do you want?" I spat coldly at his grinning face. His smile grew wider, and toothy. The longer I stared at Arthur's face, the more I saw the difference. His confident smile, that firm stare, his certainty and dominance. If only he genuinely had some traits of his alter ego, he wouldn't have to go through this much in life. I couldn't help but to frown as I gazed into Joker's eyes, lost in my thoughts and wishes. His loud sigh pulled me back to reality when I saw him giving me a concern look. At that point, I didn't know if it was Arthur or Joker who was concerned. Definitely, Joker wouldn't give up that easy, but he wouldn't also have that caring expression on his face.

"You're lost," he said, gazing into my e/c eyes and he began to slowly get up. A beam of moonlight gently shone on Arthur's bruised back and his visible backbone. He simply stared out the window, his arm resting on the glass above his head as he glanced out the window, "let me show you what lays beneath that sympathetic, bruised soul of yours."

He then broke contact with the quiet city and slowly walked towards me, his arms gradually spread open, "let me.. help you."

"I.." Hesitation had me there when he walked closer, and so was anxiety. An uncomfortable laugh escaped my lips as I slowly backed away from him. He could feel my discomfort, but he kept on coming closer to me. "Come on.." he trailed, placing his fingers on the sides of my cheek as he began to stretch it upwards.

"Whats... holding you.. back?" he uttered, his deep, emotionless voice driving my shivers down my spine. There was this awful feeling growing worse inside me, like a virus, spreading this vibe all over my body. My subconsciousness was endlessly stabbing me in the back, making me answer his questions, but all I could let out was a stutter.

Without thinking, a "yes" slipped out of my lips as he forcibly pulled my waist closer to him. A sly, evil grin formed on his lips as he let out a satisfied sigh, like he had won a battle between two. As I slowly realized what I had done, my mind began to run wild with mad, paranoid thoughts.

Paranoid thoughts.

I hadn't had them in so long, it was painful to hear those voices come back from the dead of my very sick mind.

He's gonna kill you, whispered a woman's voice. Everything felt completely hopeless at that point, it was like insanity was inevitable. Joker began to laugh hysterically, watching my paranoia get the best of me. It was unpleasing to see Joker laughing at my suffer because all I could see was Arthur's face, though it was not actually Arthur in control.

...do it.

...let me out, a soft voice spoke through my stressed out mind. A voice I never thought existed. Usually, my paranoia would always be negative, always against everything I had ever done or encountered.

And that was when I knew that he was right.

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A/N

hey yall! im so sorry this chapter took so looooong. I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind to write and my mind was completely blank, but thanks for being patients. And uh, hey we reached 400+ readers. It may be pretty small amount, but I'm pretty happy with it and to those who have been reading from chp 1, thank u for the support ilyyyy.