his first laugh || arthur fleck x reader

chp 11 - dreams

It has been exactly 4 months since I told Arthur about my pregnancy. After I told him, he seemed supportive at first. Then slowly, distant.

I sat silently on the bench of Gotham City Park as I watched the sirens go by, finding for the man named Joker. Somehow, it sounded quite unfamiliar now. He was someone else, someone I never met. Someone I should've known when we first met, so I could be more cautious of where my feelings landed.

I stroked my large stomach as my throat began to feel aching at the thought of Arthur being gone. He left a month after the news, and at that moment I knew no man could ever be trusted.

Suddenly, a sharp pain began to taunt me in my belly. My shaking hands crawled over it, grasping on my skin as the pain spread all over my stomach. I yelled in pain as it began to spike up to my head and there everything turned black.

_____

"Oh my.." I panted tiredly as my arms stretched out to my head for a rub. Everything felt so blur and confusing. My head was spinning in agony; it felt like it could be the last moments of my life. Then suddenly, I felt a pair of warm hands laid over mine, startling me a little.

"What the.." I sighed as I looked up to see the man himself, Arthur Fleck, hovering over me with a small, guilty smile on his face. I should've felt happiness. I wanted to get up and fall into his arms with the cheekiest smile on my face. But all I felt was anger and abandonment.

I stayed silent, looking up at him as my eyes filled with frustration. I didn't even bother to look around me to figure out where I was. Arthur was all that mattered and all I wanted to do was punch his face and then kiss it.

He stared at me with the faintest glance, stroking my hand as he let out a soft sigh. Finally, he broke the silence.

"You're not gonna ask me where you are?" he asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's pointless."

"Just.. please do."

His eyes were filled with agony and sadness; it broke me inside. I looked around the room to see its grey walls and sophisticated furniture placed neatly around me. Suddenly, it hit me.

"This is our room," he softly exclaimed with a big smile on his face.

"Wh-what?" Our room? Arthur, where are we?"

"I.. okay we're not exactly in Gotham," his tone softened as he revealed the huge part of all this. We weren't in Gotham.

"Shit! Arthur, we're fugitives!" I panicked as I slowly began to get up. But Arthur resisted my urge and eventually I gave it up as well.

"Hey, breathe now."

I looked up at him, whose hands crawled its way to my cheeks, softly caressed it as I stared into his bright blue eyes.

"No one has to know," he softly whispered as his face got closer to mine. And without a word, he pushed his warm lips against mine, pulling my waist closer as he held my stomach.

For a minute, the world froze and it was just Arthur, the baby and I alone in the world, having the time of our lives. But then, it stopped as Arthur pulled away slowly. Our eyes were shut, taking in the moment as Arthur's hands held my cheeks, caressing it softly.

"I love you, you know that?" his words softly soothed my ears as he looked down at me with his fragile, broken blue eyes. I held him tighter, holding my tears back as I sharply inhaled the fresh paint lingering in the air. It's moments like this that keep you alive, craving for more. We ended up laying on the soft bed as I laid my head on his chest, tracing around his torso.

"I want you to know that."

I looked up at him, staring into his ocean blue orbs without a single word. A small smile grew on my face as I began to think about our soon-to-be happy family.

"I know, love."

"That's good."

When I said "moments like this", keep in mind that anything can ruin it in just one second. Even if it is your pessimistic, ill mind.

Random thoughts began to race through my head, but I could shake it off and remain at peace with the love of my life. But what if he really wasn't the love of my life? The shit we went through together, the shit he left me to go through alone, the shit he watched me go through alone— they started to bother me.

He left you for months and you're taking him back?

Maybe he wants to kill you.

He certainly doesn't want you, especially a baby in the picture.

...

He doesn't love you. He doesn't want the baby. He doesn't want a family.

Maybe that's why he le—

"So Arthur..." My words trailed as I tried my hardest to avoid those voices. But they just couldn't leave.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes gleaming the brightest of the sky as he glanced down at me like a tall puppy with the biggest, adorable eyes.

"I..." I startled. It became louder. By the time I could make up my sentence so I wouldn't screw things up, things got way worse.

"Why did you leave me?"

"He'd kill you."

"Who?"

"Joker."