his first laugh || arthur fleck x reader

chp 8 - change

"Y/N! Oh god, I'm so sorry," he whimpered, tears forming in his eyes. I pulled him into a hug as he began to sob sorrowfully. His eyes showed so much pain, it made me feel guilty. I didn't want to tell him.. what he went through was already too much for him. Softly, I ran my fingers through his soft, brown hair as he buried his face on my chest, his tears soaking my sweatshirt. "I didn't.. I'm sorry.. what did he do- did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, giving him a reassuring smile as his arms grasped around my waist tightened. "It's okay, Arthur. He didn't hurt me, nothing happened," I assured him, smiling still.

I couldn't help but to feel light-headed. The weight of pressure pushing me down the water of guilt. My conscience was stabbing me in the back, forcing the truth out of me but all I could only let out was a desperate sigh.

________

It had been two weeks since that incident. Arthur assumed everything went back to normal and I held my breath, trying to make it seem that way. The worst part of my days was that every time I looked in the mirror, I wasn't looking at the old, sensitive me. I knew I had changed. I felt myself change so much at that point where I had to pretend to be myself.

It was too much. For Arthur, for me, we didn't really know what was going on between us. At least I didn't know. Arthur had shit to do, so I assumed he didn't put any thought to what we had. Honestly, I didn't even know where I stood in his life anymore.

I was sitting on the couch in Arthur's bedroom. He dragged me here in the warehouse so he could get his "mind going" about what his next move on the insufferable Gotham while I could "chill" in his bedroom. We'd been staying in the hotel for a couple weeks now and he had been quite busy with god knows what.

The door creaked opened when a familiar voice spoke out. He wasn't Arthur though, for sure. I turned around to see one of Arthur's men standing by the door frame and he looked extremely familiar, like I knew him from somewhere. Then it hit me— he helped me escape Arkham.

"So.. boss told me to inform you that you're gonna stay the night here," he said.

"I- wait, you mean Arthur or.." my voice trailed as I paused.

He nodded, "Joker, the Joker."

He immediately left the room, leaving me to think. At that point, I wanted to march downstairs and punch that bitch in the face, but I really couldn't bring myself to it. Maybe it was a part of me, the part where Arthur managed to completely colonize. It was really painful rarely seeing Arthur anymore. What was making him constantly turn into Joker? What made him turn me into... her?

I sat silently, watching the clock tick as I slowly drifted off to sleep. As my eyelids got heavier, I was awoken by an abruptly loud door slam. Alarmed, I quickly got up and saw a dark figure standing by the window, blocking a beam of moonlight through the window.

"A-Arthur?" I stuttered as I slowly got out of bed, subconsciously grabbing whatever that was close to me.

A deep, annoyed grunt echoed the room, "you know damn well it's not Arthur."

"What do you want, damn it!" I got all worked up on him as I let out an exhausted scoff.

I headed to the switch to turn on the lights when I saw Arthur's— well, Joker's anyhow— face bloody with a tired expression on his face. I gasped in shock as I walked closer to him to examine what was blood splattered on his face.

"J-Joker, what the f—" my words stammered as my eyes widened at that thought of what Joker could have possibly done. "Did you ki— oh no, do not tell me you killed your... men."

With a shrug, all he said was, "okay, I won't."

"Did you- what about th-those t-two.." my words slowly trailed as I thought about the two men who helped me escape Arkham. Joker looked at me dead in the eyes as I watched his once warm blue eyes turn cold. He nodded and rummaged his left pants pocket for his cigarette. As he began to light the cigarette, he sighed, "them too."

At that point, I wanted to stab Joker. My blood was boiling and I could feel steam coming out of my ears because it was so hot. I gritted my teeth as he simply turned his back at me and watched the sun set. "Come with me," he said, his eyes glued to the window.

"Fuck. you," I growled madly him. I knew I should've have done that. In fact, there was a small part of me hesitated the growl, but it was small. Joker, who seemed awfully calm, turned around and glanced at me with his sorrowful eyes.

"You know I only did this for our own good," he pouted as he slowly walked towards me. "They were going to turn their backs on me, anyways."

"W-what do you m-mean?" A stutter escaped my teeth, my jaws clenching at his absurd thoughts. I wouldn't blame him, I had them too. He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, then exhaling as he let out a loud sigh.

"They were working for someone else. They brought you out because they wanted to weaken me. You, y/n l/n, are my kryptonite."

For a minute, I was confused. Puzzled. Joker was like a big jigsaw puzzle, hard to figure out but at the same time, the easiest to solve. I tilted my head in confusion as my expression turned bemused. If I really was his kryptonite, why would he want to bring out the worst in me? Then it hit me.

"I wanted to unleash that demon inside you.." he said, his hands crawling down my waist, then forcibly pulling me closer to him, "because I knew she would only make me stronger."

"Wh-what do you even mean?" My tone obviously showed annoyance and a little bit of "you're insane, you know that?" but Joker simply chuckled as a sinister smile grew on his face.

"You'll see."

______

i am so sorry for updating so freakin late istg im no good at time management, pls forgive me. anyways, have a good day/afternoon/evening/night/birthday and merry mfkin christmas yalls!!