Memorize (Book One)

Let it go

An unvoiced agreement had sealed the deal. They needed to hurry. This would have to be done quickly. Jay had let a ray of hope enter the realm of the survivors. Something was still possible. Something had to be tried. Things were coming into focus. As fear increased slowly but surely, determination was setting in. Everyone had a role to play, or more exactly, almost everyone: Starling didn't really know where to fit in anymore. And Epos was more silent than a crypt. But they had a plan.

Arende would fly back to the Red City with Kizuna, Ananda and Starling. They would land near the Composium. More precisely, Aura had insisted on that, they would fake a desperate landing, thereby crashing the pod and obliterating all signs of an external intervention.

Arende and Kizuna would hopefully return to their former lives. Ananda and Starling would wait in the Waste Zone, the only place where they could hide for a few hours without being spotted. This had been the source of a heated argument, since Starling didn't want Ananda to follow him and give up on her life on B24. But she had been adamant and Starling had finally agreed...

As for Jay... A few hours would suffice to hack GloCo's grid, sneak into the heart of the Composium, and steal a Time-Distorter. Aura had given him the confidential details necessary to find his way.

And Epos? Noone had dared think about him. Not even himself. His existence threatened the impunity of his companions' actions. His cynicism didn't allow him a chance to be trusted. They couldn't let him go back. He couldn't really stay with Aura either. Epos hadn't spoken much. He had slowly recovered but pain seemed ingrained within him. He was one more enigma. One more problem to solve. But Jay's project was so foolhardy that everyone thought his case could be considered later... if by any chance everything went well.

A Time-Distorter... This was even more crazy that bleeding to death. The most sophisticated machine ever. The key to space exploration and colonization. The key to survival, enabling reconditioned human beings to make a new life far away from all their relatives. No chance of meeting their family again, GloCo made sure second and third-borns were sent to the remotest corners of the many galaxies probed by man.

Tension was rising. Except for Aura, the whole group saw their reactions and feelings intensify. Anger and laughter constantly came up. Kizuna especially, seemed extremely nervous. When Aura started making the necessary preparations for Jay's plan, tears kept rising in her eyes as if they followed the ebbs and flows of some internal ocean.

Arende kept grumbling in an unusually low voice. Starling directed his anger against Aura as often as possible, stomping his feet, throwing objects, and being occasionally unkind with Ananda. The whole group was lost in a troubled sea, painfully facing their respective thoughts and sensations, and clinging to a nearly-sinking ship. It was in this atmosphere that Aura came to Jay. Night was falling, and they both loooked at each other over the green fire merrily dancing and projecting shadows in the Cave.

"Jay, may I speak to you?"

"Of course!"

Aura took a deep breath, threw a handful of sand in the fire, and tall, hissing blue flames appeared. Far away, the horizon was alternately lit by fumeroles and little eruptions. In this gigantic canyon, things seemed both improbable and possible...

"Before we carry out your plan, I need to make sure you will have no regret. I want to make sure you are aware none of this is likely to succeed."

"I'm aware of that, Aura."

"Jay, you are probably going to die tonight."

"I know."

"As in... 99% chances to die."

"You said that already. This leaves me one chance. I'll take it."

"I respect your decision. But there is something else I want to tell you..."

"Yes?"

"First, in the very unlikely case you survive the exsanguination, I would like you to reconsider  your decision to go to Earth. Stealing a Time-Distorter is, well, it is crazy but interesting." A fleeting smile hung over Aura's lips. "Fleeing as far away as you can is the wisest move you will make. But Earth... again if you make it... Earth may get you into more trouble."

"Don't you think I'm past counting the troubles?" laughed Jay.

"Mhhh... As strange as it may seem to you, no. There is more trouble ahead, more than you think. I am asking you very seriously, Jay, to choose another route to escape GloCo. Especially as Starling, Ananda and Kizuna are likely to follow you in this adventure."

"Kizuna? The plan for her's to resume her former life!"

"It is, but I suspect she will change her mind..."

"What do you mean?"

"She will go where she is most needed... Besides, she will listen to her heart, and her heart is not telling her to leave you."

Jay's blood froze for an instant. He felt torn between desperation and something else he hadn't felt for ages. But a torn heart is one that beats too quickly for its own sake. Jay didn't answer, and looked stubbornly at the ground for a few minutes. Aura finally spoke again.

"There is a lot of danger ahead, for you and your friends. Whether you want it or not, they are determined to follow you. And you are not a common man, Jay. GloCo will never leave you in peace. So GloCo will hunt them down too."

"Why, Aura?"

"Due to my position in B24's hierarchy, I was informed of a few confidential matters. I know GloCo's experiments went much further than what we were all told. Of course, I know that for a fact. But there is more. Much more. Jay, I heard things. And I think your rebellious memory might be GloCo's biggest worry. Of course, these are mainly suspicions. Which is why you should take Epos with you..."

"No kidding? That blond rat?"

"Yes, that blond rat... If someone on this planet knows more about your case, it is him. The Head of the High Intelligence Bureau. If you take him, you might be able to learn more about yourself. Besides... Rats too deserve a chance to find redemption."

"Ah... I'll take him if you ask me. I trust you. But redemption... He supports all of this. GloCo's experiments... He wants people like Starling to die. He thinks I'm a freak."

"So maybe he is a rat, and you are a freak? Maybe something good can come from him still. And maybe being a freak means being stronger than all of us."

"You're an enigmatic man, Aura. I'll follow your advice, except for my destination. I need to go back to Earth."

"Back to where it all started. Earth is our Mother Planet. Honestly, I do not know what state it is in now. And also, it is strictly forbidden for second and third-borns to return to their native planets. Jay, you could meet your family. Hera is one thing. But... your parents? Your children maybe, if you had any? Think of the consequences..."

"I will never hurt anyone, Aura. If people don't remember me, I won't reveal who I am. If Hera's dead, I will mourn her. If her memory's wiped, I will mourn her too. But... I need to go and see by myself. I need to know who I was. Who I am..."

"Every man's quest, after all. Fair enough, Jay. Be sure, if you are still alive tomorrow, to find a way to make Epos speak. Other than breaking his neck, though!" smiled Aura.

As the hermit was getting up, Jay called out to him.

"Aura?"

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say, thank you... for everything. And about Star... Whatever he told you... He didn't really mean it. Don't believe the crap he says."

A hopeless smile shone through Aura's eyes.