Memorize (Book One)

A way out

"I'll meet you on the other side."

This is what he said. I don't really know what he meant, or if he meant anything at all, because I feel him slipping away. Gliding down the abyss. I've seen the look in Aura's eyes, I've seen the analyzer blink red and then shut off. I've seen them all around him, kneeling in his blood and silent as hell.

I'm falling too. I've healed his wrists and they're as good as new. But his hand's icy cold and I see his life spilled down on the ground. Away from him. Cooling down. Soaking our legs in vain.

Such a waste... Oh, such a waste.

Please wake up.

I don't know how, but I'm holding his hand against my lips. His strong, solid hand. Soft skin. But so still. So limp. I never want to let go of that hand.

Where have you gone, Jay?

Somewhere I'm not. Somewhere he'll meet her again, because that's the only way love can never die in this world. Because this is who he is. I overheard him talk to Aura. This is what he does: never give up, never mess up with a promise.

I admire you for that.

Oh my God, I really believed in that chance. I really did. I thought he'd survive anything! Even that... He's so pale. I wish I could give him my life, so that he could live on.

This is it, then. His hand's soaked with tears. Oh, how did we accept this?

I love you. I love you so much.

Never known anyone like you.

"Kizuna...Hey, Kizuna. I need your help!" Aura's words echo from far away, as darkness is spinning around me. I struggle to fight the burning feeling that scorches my insides. I take a deep breath, and things get a little less blurry. Aura is pointing at Jay's left arm as he is preparing to inject more crystalloid solution. I know what I have to do and proceed as he wishes, helping him to administer a simultaneous dose in both arms.

"He's not dead, then?" I hear someone ask the question, and my heart skips a beat.

I will never tell you I love you. But I do. And I'll do whatever it takes to help you. Even if it takes you away from me.

"His vitals are peaking. He sure is a fighter. Arende, Starling, help me take him on a lie-down. We need to cover him with a healing blanket, and Kizuna, we need to check on him all night. But yes, it looks like he made it to the safe side."

"Talk about a safe side..." This is Epos. He is almost as white as Jay.

"So he's really going to be okay?" asks Starling. "I remember the feeling of losing massive quantities of blood, and it doesn't come damn close to what he lost... Hold there, bro."

"Yes, it is an ordeal. But the next phase is probably as bad as this one. "

"What do you mean?"

"If his vitals remain stable all through the night, Jay will be a new man in the morning. He will be the first specimen alive without GloCo's attendance... No possible control over him. But no possible instant cure either, and an ongoing ageing process."

"What?" cries Ananda.

"Well, I mean that Jay is now a normal human being again. No anti-ageing agents in his blood. No chemical and neuronal control. No connexion to GloCo."

"Does that mean he's going to suffer?"

"Not necessarily. But we hardly know what a normal human being is anymore. Jay will be more exposed, while being free from any control."

As he speaks, Aura is rearranging the healing blanket on Jay's body.

"Glad you said he's made it. Looks totally dead to me!" exclaims Arende. "No movement, no colour, no reaction whatsoever."

"Well, his body is going to readjust. This is going to be a long night... But I know I will have a devoted assistant with me." Saying this, Aura smiles kindly and gently pats Kizuna's shoulder.

"Kiz, we will stay up too. He's our friend."

"And our adventures are just beginning, right?" says Starling, winking at the girls.

As Arende is bending low to light a bright blue fire, the whole world outside seems to shrink and fade behind a veil of darkness. Merry shadows start dancing on the walls of the Cave. A more serene crowd is sitting beside Jay. Close to each other, Arende, Ananda and Starling watch their companion while Aura and Kizuna kneel on each side of him. Further in the shadow, near the entrance, stands Epos, a sulky look on his face.

As hours pass, a little current of life gathers inside Jay's body, and a faint hint of warmth traverses him. It is like a distant rumble in his ears. There is also the softest touch on his hand. The feel of a skin that echoes through the memory of his own skin. Fighting hard against the will to sink or fly, pushing back oblivion, he manages to open a little space between his eyelids and sees a beloved face. He knows this beautiful girl. The anxious look. The unwavering determination. Hope rushes like a torrent, exploding all the dams and barriers inside him.

I am alive!

He holds her hand as tight as he can. It is actually a feeble attempt, but it has the effect of a hurricane.

Hera. This is you. I have found you.

Hope and heat nestle and whirl about in Jay's body. As they slowly build up, clarity comes back and his heart beats anew. Past, present and future lie in front of him. It is a long path of pain, but there is love too. There was love. There is love. And the emotion of it all surpasses him, as irregular beats send him back into a sleepless kind of dream.

I will never tell you how I feel.

But I love you.