No One Has To Know (My Bestfriend's Dad) EDITED

25

Jared took me to the cabin we use to go to. I've been laying in bed crying on and off. Especially today Matt and Shay were on the way to the funeral home to pick up Taylor's ashes.

"Kaitlynn you have to stop crying baby" Jared helped me up to get me to eat something, but I stood there in my shirt. My legs felt weak, but it was probably from exhaustion.

I left a small gush from my vagina and I sighed thinking maybe the baby pushed on my bladder, but a few moments later water was dripping down my leg.

"Kaitlynn-"Jared's eyes widen looking directly into mine. "She's coming" He panicked racing around the room trying to grab his stuff. "Shit your bag is at the house someone is going to have to get it. The back pain I've been slightly feeling felt a little stronger.

Jared rushed me into the car speeding to the hospital. We were at least 30 minutes away, and I've probably been in labor longer than I thought.

When we got to the hospital Jared got the nurses to come out and help me. "Jared calm down" I whined watching him like a mad man.

"I have to call Matt and your parents okay. I'll meet you upstairs after I park" I nod as the rush me into the building. I was shocked. I wasn't ready to have this baby. We never talked about a middle name for her.

The doctor came in after I changed into a gown, and she had a few nurses with her. "Okay I need to check you to see how dilated you are okay?" I nodded leaning back closing my eyes.

"Oh gosh you're already at 6" She directed them to call down for an epidural immediately.

"We are going to try and get the epidural, but I can't promise he will make it up here before it's time to push." My nerves finally kicking in as I stare blankly at her.

"I can't have this baby" She gave me a sad smile telling me I didn't have a choice. The baby was coming now whether I wanted her to or not.

It felt like hours before Matt and Shay arrived with our parents. He let me know everyone else was on the way, but they might be a little later.

The doctor walked in saying she needed to check me again before I got the epidural. The pain was the same pain I felt with Cole. The pressure the aching.

Everything was happening so fast the room was being turned upside down. Nurses and doctors flooded in, and she instructed me that I couldn't wait. I was fully dilated.

"No" I shook my head tears finally falling. My mom and Shay were holding my hands as Matt and my dad left.

"Kaitlynn when you feel a contraction you have to push." The adjusted my legs in the stands ready for a miracle, but I wasn't ready.

"I can't do this" I screamed trying not to push during my contraction.

"Kaitlynn you have to" My mother squeezed my hand while he other went through my hair.

"No Taylor isn't here. I can't have this baby without him" The tears pouring down my face as I was holding the baby in. The pain in my stomach multiplying.

" Baby I know he isn't here right now, but he wanted you to have this baby. God gave you this baby so you'd always have a piece of Taylor with you" My mom pressed a kiss to my forehead telling me to push.

It was like a shift in the air happened, but I was the only one who noticed. I felt like I could feel him there with me.

I pushed screaming tears freely falling.

"That's good. Another one" The doctor stretched me so there was more room.

"He's gone" I screamed pushing during my next contraction. "Come on one more big push past the shoulders" I took a breath waiting.

My body shaking from the pain. Pain from childbirth pain from the loss of my husband.

"Ready" I squeezed my mom and Shay's hand as hard as I could.

"I miss him" I pushed a sob leaving my mouth, and I fell back against the bed.

"I miss him" I cried my mom pressing her forehead against mine. "I know baby, but he'd be so proud of you" I laid there crying, and I heard her cry. Her first cry from across the room.

"She's small, but you can see her before we bring her to the Nicu" I glance down her lips shaped perfectly like his.

"Taylor would have loved her" I cried placing my lips to her forehead. They took her away the doctor coming over, and checking on me.

"As soon as the placenta comes out we will get you cleaned up" The doctor was talking to a nurse when the placenta came out.

She was going to make sure I didn't tear when I felt the need to push again. I pushed telling her what was happening, and she looked up shocked.

"We need another incubator" She screamed causing panic to rise with everyone.

"What's going on" My mom asked while Shay looked between my legs.

"There's another baby"

Another baby. Two babies. Twins.

"What" I shouted, and she instructed me to push again. I pushed like my life depended on it. I wish Taylor was here.

"One more Kaitlynn you can do this" I push feeing the pressure leave my body, and she placed the baby on me while the nurses get the incubator.

"It's a boy" She cooes my hands wrap around his slimy body, and I cry. "He looks like Taylor"

They wiped him, and all too soon they had to take him away.

"When can I see them?" I asked the doctor as she was getting ready to leave. " after you get cleaned up, and they get checked out we will bring you down there" I thanked her laying my head back closing my eyes.

I can imagine Taylor kissing my forehead telling me what a great job I did. He would be shocked there was another baby, but not surprised since he said it looked like I was carrying 4 babies.

He'd have a joke, but right now all I have is a full heart that happens to be broken.