His Purpose✔(SwaSan)

Part 8

I wondered lying on the bed whether i should proceed with the divorce because the main thing is it's not only about Swara and i...now it's also about Ashi and Sayam who are probably dreaming about a life with a normal family but i was unsure. I don't know what to do...it's not that i don't want to reunite with Swara. I want to but i don't know...i am not sure thinking about all the heartbreaks and sufferings in future. I remembered all the pain that i had to go through when Swara had left me and i decided to move on with the divorce fully aware that it's going to hurt Swara and the kids....we will stay together for 6 months if we feel we deserve to be together then we will and if not we will move on...living with our sad smiles. I am sorry but i don't know what i should do...i am scared to be left again, i am scared that i will break down if it doesn't work out...I know one thing if anything happens i wouldn't be able to handle myself. I will break down to such an extent that i will not be able to survive.

Life is unpredictable...you don't get what you want in your life always but that's the beauty of life. We go through this life slowly by all pain and happiness until we become strong enough to wipe our own tears. The main thing about life is never give up because after every darkness there will surely be a light. Whatever we are going through in life is only preparing us for the worse because that's life....We collect all broken pieces of our hearts which maybe in the form of our tears,heartbreak,happiness, to such an extent until we feel a whole to fight for ourselves. We cannot expect someone to fight for us if we can't fight for ourselves.
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Swara i spoke to the lawyer yesterday....he said we need to live together for 6 months for proceeding with the divorce. So we need to live together for 6 months. Okay?
Swara:Okay...
Sanskar:I am sorry if I have hurted you in any way or the other. But i am scared...a lot scared more than words could ever explain.
Swara:I understand Sanskar and i don't blame you....Maybe if you would have never loved me your life wouldn't be like this. You wouldn't be having trust issues...you wouldn't be scared. I should be sorry Sanskar not you.
Sanskar:You know one thing Swara...i have never regretted loving you ever. You know why because it is always better to love rather to not love at all. When i first saw Ashi...i held her in my arms i fell in love with her. Ashi has no one other than me in this world and without me she can't survive. I cannot survive with her either. We make some decisions in life which maybe right or wrong and when i look at my daughter i feel it in my bones that she has been the best decision of my life. I was breaking down that day to become nothing Swara when i met her and now i cannot live without her. She is my life Swara.
Swara:I understand Sanskar....maybe there is no hope for us to unite in yours or my eyes but i will hope for us to have a second chance together.
We both smiled at each other....i walked away from there.

I am scared and confused...a part of me wants to get back while the other part is scared. I don't want to get back with Swara with all my insecurities and pain eating me from inside. Because i have understood one thing from life that no relationship can be ever build upon insecurities so why to give Swara a hope about something which i am unsure about. Yesterday i was happy thinking that maybe we can have a second chance together but is it really good to get back...i didn't know but all i can say is let my fate take me wherever it wants to and i will decide with the hope that the decision is for the best.
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Who says that the one who looks happy from outside is happy from inside? Who says that  the one who is flying from outside is not caged from inside? Somewhere we all are caged from inside....in the race of life we surely run away but the one inside stays suffocated from inside. Sanskar had all his insecurities piling up from inside which was turning him broken inside in real means...the broken one inside of him everyday used to scream to let the one inside come outside but what does the suffocated one know that the air outside is also not safe....

(I read this somewhere from net and i really liked it..i have written this by myself with the main essence from the thing that i had read.)
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I went to Ashi's room only to see Sayam and Ashi sleeping on the bed hugging each other...who will say by looking at this that had only met each other yesterday. I went to Ashi and caressed her hairs...
i love her a lot..she means a lot to me. A lot more than i could ever express. I love her a lot...she is my life. No matter what dilemma life brings upon me i will always choose her....People say a father teaches his daughter how to live by holding her hands but in my case in real means Ashi was the one who held my hands and thought me to live. When she did that...when she first called me papa i understood i was born into this world to do something beyond my thinking and when i did i learnt to love myself which made me love her.
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Guys what i mean by this is nobody knows what happens in the future.....Sanskar is insecure about breaking down to become nothing. What i want to tell is we make mistakes in life which gives us a lesson and we also make it up in our minds to not repeat. He wants to reunite with Swara but he is not sure. Now let's what stored up for him and Swara in the near future..

Anyways thank you for all the votes and comments..if you like this chapter then please do vote and comment.

Ahsina❤