Meet in The Space Between ✔️

15

Dirty tissues, trust issues
Glasses on the sink, they didn't fix you
Lonely pillows in a strangers bed
Little voices in my head
___________________

"I SEE you two have been exercising." Carlos remarked when we came in the door. He was at his desk, in front of his laptop. His hair was a flattened mess, probably the result of wearing a motorcycle helmet.

"The girls were all busy with their own thing." I told him, taking a casual seat on the floor. "Oh hi Dude!"

The small dog pressed its head against my leg and whined.

"He was literally waiting for me outside the door when I came back." Carlos chuckled.

I was attempted to ask where he was, but remembered the conversation I had with Jay. I just needed to let it go.

"Okay." Jay said suddenly, cutting off my train of thought. He looked at me. "I am gonna take your advice and go see if Lonnie's at the auditorium."

I smiled.

"I'll... see you guys at lunch or something." And he left, seemingly trying to calm his nerves.

"Oh, guess what." Carlos said, taking off the earphones from around his neck as he watched me play with Dude. "Jane said she might organize something for us to do over the weekend to 'get our lazy bums out of our rooms'." He did air quotes. "Something like the safari trip she went on last week."

I was about to give a little cheer when I realized something. "But what if news comes about the snow globe curse?"

"What about it?"

"We'd have to get to Em and Brisa as fast as possible. How could we do that if we're on a trip?"

Carlos frowned a little.

Shoot. I should've kept my mouth shut. Did I upset him? He was probably getting more and more tired of boredom. I was the only thing stopping him from going on an adventure. Was he trying to avoid me this morning? Gosh, how horrible of a person was I to keep him from living his own life? Not everything revolves around me...

"I'm sorry." I said meekly, "Of course you can go if you want to-"

"Woah, hey-" He grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him, "Why're you giving me that look?"

"Hm?" I faked confusion.

"Brae..." He looked disappointed, making me feel even worse, "Did something happen?"

I lowered my gaze, unable to shake free from his grasp.

"You don't usually apologize for something small like that." He said.

I felt awful. Why is it always me who's being comforted? He never needed my comfort. I was always the problem. Jay had a point when he said I was being too clingy. Carlos had a life outside our relationship. How could I be so selfish?

"Brae?"

Suddenly there was a lump in my throat. I couldn't tell him that.

"I think I'm gonna go back home-" I said shakily.

He was clearly not happy with the statement. "Okay..." He said slowly, "I can give you a ride-"

"Oh, no it's okay." I replied quickly, "It's not that far of a walk."

He must've caught on that I wanted to be alone, slowly letting go of my arm. "Okay. But text me later, please?"

Dude came between our feet and let out a long whine.

Carlos crouched down. "Walk her home, would ya Dude?" He requested the mutt, who barked in response.

"Thanks." I mumbled to him, exiting through the door and making sure Dude had enough space to crawl through too.

When I finally made it outside, I took a deep breath, trying to erase the expression on Carlos' face from my mind. He looked so disappointed in me. My heart ached. Dude yelped at me and I picked up the smartest dog in the world in my arms.

"I'm not gonna make you walk the whole way." I told him, knowing he wouldn't be able to protest.

Putting all my focus on the feeling of Dude's soft fur on my skin, I held him tight as I speed-walked home. I tried not to think about how I just messed up. Again. At least I knew exactly who to talk to.

Evie was in her room reading a magazine, pillows propped up behind her back. She looked up when I abruptly appeared at her doorway, squeezing the life out of Dude.

"Hey." She put the magazine down, "What's wrong?"

The look on my face must've said it all.

"I messed up."

She patted her bed, signaling for me in take a seat in the empty space. I obeyed, letting Dude leap out of my arms.

"I'm being too clingy with Carlos, I've become too invested in everything he does, I'm always the one going to him when I have a problem-"

"What's wrong with that?" Evie asked.

"Well, he's doing all the giving and I'm doing all the taking." I replied, "Isn't support supposed to go both ways?"

The blue haired girl tapped her chin. "There may be truth in that." She finally said, "But what happened? Did Carlos say you're not enough?"

"I'm afraid I'm too much." I said meekly, "What if I'm too much to deal with? It seems like I'm always in the way." I looked down. "He was away this morning. He was probably avoiding me."

"Hold your horses." Evie said, crossing her legs, "Did he say that?"

"Say what?"

"Everything you're telling me."

"No." I answered, "But he noticed I was acting weird and tried to get me to talk to him..."

"But you didn't?"

"No."

"Oh Brae." Evie shook her head lightly, "You're overthinking."

"But-"

"Maybe you're right." The blue haired girl continued, "But if you haven't talked to him about it, how can you be so sure about how he feels?"

I gave her a meek look. "Oh." I placed my hands on both sides on my face, exasperated, "Gosh, I basically avoided him."

"You want my honest opinion, Brae?" Evie asked, clasping her hands together.

"Yeah."

"Brae, you grew up not caring about anyone but yourself because that was the only way for you to survive. You were used to being your own support. Carlos, however, grew up with a dying need to serve his mom. Therefore his main instinct is always other people first and never himself. It's only normal for you two to act this way towards each other. It's in your nature."

Dang. Real words of wisdom. I never thought of it that way.

"But." Evie smiled, "That's also how you two complete each other, right? Carlos needs someone to care for, but that someone has to care for him too. And you need someone to rely on, to take the weight off yourself. He has what you need and you have what he needs."

I couldn't help but smile too. I liked the way Evie laid it out perfectly for me to see. Like it made sense all of a sudden.

"Brae." She said, holding my hand, "Relationships are hard. Really, really, terrifyingly hard. It's never ever perfect. But it's about how much you're willing to fight for it."

I smiled again. "Oh Evie." I pulled her into a giant hug, "You always have the best advice, you know that?"

"I'm glad I helped."

"Of course you did... Now I guess I owe freckles an explanation."