Cold At Dusk

Chapter Eight

" I made a ring for you. "

Mark shook his head tiredly. Any moment from then, he was going to call his elder brother to carry his child.

"Are you not happy ? I said, I made a ring for you. " Ella said.

She wrapped her fingers around one of Mark's finger.

"I'm happy, " he replied. He had thought that would make her go away but no! She jumped on his lap. He had to hold her to keep her from falling.

" Do you know a poem? "

He shook his negatively.

"Why? " she had to ask.

Desperately more than ever, he hoped Kamsi would come down and the little girl will follow her. He just wanted to be left alone. Alone with his thoughts but the girl presently sitting on his laps would not allow that.

"I know a poem," she announced happily.

Mark gently put her down. "You can go and sing it in your bed."

" Let me go and get the ring! "

Mark was glad when she ran out of the parlour. He immediately turned off the television, then the light. He could not believe he was tiptoeing to his room in his own house. But he was doing it carefully like any mistake he made at that moment had grave consequences.

Unfortunately, He heard the patter of her small feet on the tile as she ran out from her room. He met her half way on the stairs.

"Are you going to bed? " She asked some what looking betrayed.

"Yes."

"Are you feeling sleepy? "

Mark nodded, feeling frustrated but beneath all of that, he was enjoying the little girl. It made him imagine what it would be like to have his own.

"Come . You would give the ring to my God mummy."

She pushed the ring into his hand. It was a ring made with paper. Kamsi was sleeping on Ella's bed. She slept there from the night they returned from village.

"Can you sleep alone? " he asked the little girl.

"Yes, I'm a grown up," she replied

She threw herself on the bed then pulled the duvet to cover her little body and Kamsi. She was disappointed when Mark rolled the duvet off about to lift his wife up.

"I can also sleep with you people," the little girl said, making her puppy face.

"No, you will sleep alone. You are a grown up," Mark said, he sounded like a child even to himself as he rebuked the girl.

"I'm a grown up," the little girl sang.

He thought of leaving the little girl alone then he covered Kamsi back with the duvet. He put the paper ring on her smallest finger.

"In the morning she will see it" Ella said.

"Good night " he said to her.

"Everybody kisses me when they say goodnight."

Mark ignored her and left the room. The little girl got him smiling even in the darkness of his room. That was what it felt like to have a child , he thought . He was going to be a father soon and able to join the father's club and all that had to do with fatherhood. He knew what people said about a man without an offspring. He did not dwell on it because he was more enlightened but he would not deny the irritation he felt at times. He was not used to lacking anything.

They had gone for several tests, gone for counseling on how to do it right. None of the clean results had put his mind at more rest than it was then.

____________________________________

Kamsi opened her eyes. She stared at the white wall in front of her, allowing her eyes to get used to the brigtness of the room. Ella could not sleep in darkness so they usually left the lights on over night. She turned to her right to look at her. She was still sleeping peacefully. Her pillow was not on the bed. Kamsi knew it was on the floor. It was where she picked it up from most mornings.

She felt the ring on her finger and remembered last night. She had been so amused that it took all in her not to laugh at the way her husband had conversed with the little girl. He had been like a grumpy uncle.

It was still early, she knew he would not be awake. It was a few minutes past five. She walked to his room. He was sleeping in a white singlet and a navy blue short. She looked at him for a while, the stubborn man she had married and still loved. Just looking at him in that moment he seemed peaceful and vulnerable. It refueled the love she felt for him.

She sat on the bed and intertwined their fingers, watching him as he slept. It was like food to her soul, it awakened her spirits, making her feel that all the time they were distant, she had been dead.

His fingers tightened around her fingers. She smiled.

"You are awake," she said.

"I missed you, " he replied.

In a moment she climbed the bed desiring to share his warmth. He knelt and bent over her, holding her hands as he kissed her more passionately than ever, it could be called hunger. She kissed him back matching his hunger. She had been starved for long. He kissed her neck down to her arms before removing the hand of her night wear, one after the other while trailing kisses along her arm.

"It's been a while, " he said.

She nodded. She did not want to be speaking. She wanted actions and he understood. He quickly removed his singlet then short then made love to her in the darkness of the morning .

Later she would realize conversation were better, healthier and more fruitful in the early hours of the morning, She would remember the need to be angry. But at that moment, intimacy was enough for her.

While he panted after the peak of the ecstasy had washed over him and she was still beneath him, wriggling her hips, she managed to put her thoughts in words amidst all of the emotions she felt, she said,

" I love you. "

She waited for a while for a reply before he replied in between pants,

"I love you more. "