Cold At Dusk

Chapter Nine

The August break had finally ended and rain hit the ground at night, filling the soil's thirst to its very unfathomable depth.

The plants in the garden had wet leaves; that was the visible nourishment at the time. Kamsi loved to look at the garden. The green from that little space of land was uplifting. They were one of the little things she could hope for. Maybe miraculously, they would produce better before the dryness of harmattan came.

She was sitting on a stool and watching the garden while she thought of so many other things but majorly about the baby she was expecting.

"I'll get manure from my friend. He knows the best."

She turned to the sound of the voice and saw Mark. She smiled and nodded.

"Let's stay in the front," he said, "the breeze out there is better."

She carried the stool inside and followed him out through the front door. She struggled to hop onto a high pavement there. He came and lifted her to sit on the pavement. He leaned beside her and began to scroll through his phone while she did the same.

"Come and see, " Kamsi said, breaking the silence.

He leaned in to get a better view of the image on her phone screen.

"A baby cot," she explained. "It's beautiful. "

He was uninterested but he nodded. "Yes it is. "

"We would make one like that? "

He scratched his head. "I thought there was something like a baby bed, small and portable. "

"I don't understand. "

"Tomorrow I'll buy it. It's better than the stress of making this one."

"but that one is more durable. All our children could even use it. " she argued. The thought of " all our children" caused her lips to lift.

"It's a waste of money. We're not doing it, that's final," he said.

She frowned and looked away. Why did he always have to act annoyed?

His attention returned to his phone . She did not want to argue but she knew she was going to make that wooden cot without him. She knew the baby would love it.

" I will also need to start buying gowns- those big big gowns" she said after a long silence.

He shoulders sagged but he did not utter a word neither did he look her way.

"You will get it for me," she added.

"I will give you money to get it." he responded.

"I don't want money . I want you to get it for me, " she whined.

He found it funny for he laughed. " How do you expect me to be buying those things. They are the things a woman should do. They're the things you should do for yourself. I can't be doing everything for you."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are  we talking about the same thing here?"

" It's more like, I'm asking you to gift me maternity clothes. You have never got me a gift."

"I will, " He said, more quietly.

The major thing Mark knew to do was give money to keep the house running. Gifts were not his forte. Year after year, she bought gifts for him on special occasions, hoping that he would grasp the sign, hoping that he would understand that gifts was her own love language. She desired it.

She wanted those solid things she  would see and smile knowing that her husband got it for her. She wanted the kind of romance they never had because even before marriage, when they had dated, he got her no gifts. She had been okay with it but she was no longer. Especially not now that Joseph  got Michelle a car as a gift after the child dedication.

She shook her head to ward away that thought that came with comparison and a little drop of jealousy. But the thought was steadfast; it stayed.

His hands were waving in front of her and she blinked then.

"What? " She snapped annoyed and trying her best not to seem lost.

"Ella was calling your name, " he said in an irritated tone matching her own time.

She hopped down and got into the house. Ella was in the parlor.

"I have been looking for you," Ella said wiping her face. It was one of the few times she slept in the afternoon.

"I was outside, baby."

"Your phone," she said, stretching out her hand to Kamsi. "It was ringing."

Ella walked over to the center of the parlor where she dropped her building blocks.  The phone started to ring again and it was Michelle. She told her about school resuming in a weeks time and Ella returning home.

With a sudden heavy heart she turned to Ella. "Do you want to speak with mummy? "

She put the call on speaker but could not hear a word they spoke because she drowned herself in so many thoughts. A wave of sadness hit her forcefully thinking of the girl leaving. She began to imagine the loneliness and lack of plan for each new day.

She had almost forgotten that she was not hers to keep forever. She had been her companion alot in those days.

She placed a hand on her belly, somehow wishing to feel a movement - anything at all to remind her over and over again that her baby was on the way. The thought of being a mother came with some relief, all of the heaviness was washed away. She sat and smiled with a deep felt sigh.