Cold At Dusk

Chapter Fourteen

It was Monday, the first working day in the week and the first day Kamsi was supposed to report to her new job in the Okigwe local government head quarters.

She woke up before five. Her excitement bubbled inside her like Omo put inside water. She made breakfast while she multitasked, sweeping the house and washing the dishes that had been used the previous night.

She was done before Seven and she went up to dress for work. Mark was still lying on the bed but he was looking at his phone.

"Good morning " she greeted.

"Morning " he replied.

She went into the bathroom, taking more time to sponge. It was like there was an extra cleanliness she had to add. She had imagined herself sharing a table with a colleague at work since the place was talked of as a place with alot of people. She was ready. She was ready to share a table, she was ready to tolerate, she was ready to endure. After all she had a divine gift for enduring .

When she came out, Mark was no longer in the room. She went to her own room where she had kept the black skirt and chiffon blouse she ironed the previous night.

She could not even understand why time was running faster than normal. Thirty minutes past seven by the time she was dressed in her dress and flat shoes. Her make up was just brown powder and a red lipstick which was applied faintly on her lips.

She hurried downstairs with a khaki envelope which contained her letter of employment and her brown bag. She met Mark in the parlor, his legs crossed on the centre table and the remote in his hand.

"Baby, no work today? " she asked. She touched his forehead with her palm to check his body temperature.

"I'm going to work " he simply replied.

"I made breakfast " she said, "It's in the flask "

When she heard no reply she said, "Have a nice day . I'm going to work "

She did not want him to corrupt her mood with his foul mood on her first day of work. She hurriedly walked to the door. She was about to turn the door knob when Mark called,

"Kamsiriochukwu, come back here"

Slowly, she spun on her heels, tears about to fall already expecting the worst.

"Sit down there" he pointed to a cushion.

"Please not now. It's my first day and I'm almost late" she said, the tears were already streaming down as she spoke.

He held up a finger urging her to keep shut. She quietly walked to the cushion adjacent to the cushion he sat, directly facing the television.

"Where did you say you are going to? " he asked, not looking at her but the television.

She wiped her tears before replying, "I'm going to work. This is my letter of employment. I'm supposed to resume today"

"Which work? "

"Head quarters. Local government head quarters " she replied, uncomfortable as she knew time was going.

"Did you forget that you have a husband? I should be aware of every decision you make " he said still looking at the television.

"Baby, I told you. We discussed this "

"And what did I say ? " he asked. He turned, his eyes resting on her like a predator's eyes on a prey.
Kamsi shifted in her seat, her fingers eager enough to perforate the envelope she was holding. She did not answer him because his reply had been, "Give me time " the same thing he said to her three years ago when she had quit the job she got after her youth service.

"Let me see the letter " he said.

She pushed the envelope to him with high hopes that he would go through the letter and see how true her employment was and let her go. She watched as his eyes ran up and down the piece of the paper then he shook his head .

"You won't be needing this " he said.

Before Kamsi could blink, both the envelope and her letter of employment were torn into two, then four, then six and it was reduced to just the crumble in Mark's hand. Her lips could form no words. It was her eyes that knew to form tears which strolled down leisurely even dropping on her skirt. Uptill that moment she did not know that a man could tear a person's dream and reduce it to trash.

"You are not going to work there" he said and stood up.

He went upstairs while Kamsi still sat on the cushion unable to move. She was staring into space which seemed like the state of nothingness within her. Tears brewed set after set until her head began to ache.

She lay on the cushion, her hands inbetween her laps as she shivered from pain and cold all at once. Each sniff she made pulled the strings in her head to worsen the pounding headache she felt.

She took a throw pillow and hugged it for warmth and consolation but that pillow did nothing to ease the pain she felt. The pain at the remembrance of how a piece of paper that brought her joy and hope was torn to shreds while she watched.
The memory caressed her, urging the tears to flow unrelentingly.

She imagined ways she could rewind time that morning. Maybe she should have stayed till he left for work before dressing or maybe she should have lied, said she was going to market. She shook away the insane thoughts. The percentage of her sanity was running low. She had to get a helper before the percentage runs down to the lowest.

After crying so much and for long, she closed her eyes in tears as sleep took over her being. It was a time she thought if she slept and rose it would all be a dream, bad dream but she opened her eyes and she was lying on the cushion in her work attire on a Monday morning.

The sound of Mark's slippers slapped the stairs as he came down. She just lay there staring into space.

"I'm going out " he announced.

Hearing his voice brought down fresh tears all over again. She felt tired, drained. She sat up and looked at the clock. It was a few minutes past one, a time she wouldn't be able to go to report to work even if she still wanted to.

She was wrong. Even if she had a gift of endurance, she did not want to endure this way. She did not want to endure so much with all the life she had in her.

*********************
25th December, 2019•

I know, I know.. It's not so Christmas like. Still! Let me know what you think about the chapter.

Merry Christmas!! 🎄