Just Hold Me [ merlin x arthur ]

4 - restless nights

/ ok so i watched the whole series n turns out morgana be ded — so let's rewind a little n say mer never mentioned her -

there was an urge to tug him into me , to hug him properly, but either we sat there for a few moments , the fire crackling every so often , breaking the somewhat pleasurable silence , my fingers gently playing with the golden hairs at the nape or his neck , before a simple sigh escapes my lip , " . . always sire . . " i respond "  — lets get you ready for bed - it's late - " i mutter as i pull away to tip his head up . " you've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow - "

" god — "the king rubs his eyes as we stood up " . . don't remind me - "

" what's so bad about it ? " i ask , while help tugging his brown jacket off " you're alive - all you have to say is that the unexpected happened - " i shrug

" i know - " he seemed off — arms stiff as he winced — lifting his arms up - as i swiftly throw off his red tunic , setting it aside , before turning back to him , a small silence fell again , as i looked at him in his blue hues , before continuing

" . . theres ai fear as if i don't love guinevere - anymore - "

oh — " . . well , that doesnt - change will who be king , sire — you are and always will be - "

the king chews the inside of his cheek , shuffling after me as i pulled the sheets back , and once over him as he lays himself down . i never usually did this , but i supposed i missed the prat a little too much —

" it's not as easy as it sounds , /mer/lin — but i suppose your right — "

i just nod in response , sending him a smile " you'll be fine ,, trust me , night , clotpole , i'll see you first thing tomorrow — "

—-

stories pov

before he could even say anything back - he hears the chambers doors fall shut , looking up at the ceiling . he had so many questions - and if anything as soon as his head hit the pillow the ounce of tiredness had left him , his mind pondering over everything that had of happened .

one of the issues that arthur had as soon as he woke up : his mind wouldn't stop drifting off to merlin . back to his request when he died - he could blame it as devotion of dying in someone's arms but he couldn't play it off that way. he felt as if he wouldn't be sleeping much this current night .

merlin soon enough crawls his way into his own chambers , deciding himself that hed turn in for the night , as he gets into his sleepwear - before sitting himself down on his bed , if anything he wasn't sure if he was going to get any either , he knew that it was going to be a different world now that the king was in it , sure for the good , but seeing the state he was in — how lost he was - sure if anyone was in his shoes they would be , maybe he was overthinking it himself && it took him a while or two ,, but he soon enough trailed off —

but for arthur , he reluctantly decided against sleep . in fact once Gwen had joined him for bed and fell asleep — he was sick of the restlessness , late in the night he snuck easily past a sleeping Geoffrey and began to search once hed of reached the library , truth have it he was unsure of what entirely he was looking for but he did start by searching for any records of someone being resurrected . destiny , if destiny was ready then the king was out of luck seeing as the person who told Merlin that wasn't a person at all in fact it was a dragon , and the king knew very well all books of that kind had been banned long ago . never the less and no matter how boring this was what kept the king going quite until dawn was the hope of finding even small thing about destiny .

yet cant help but say his servant could perhaps relate , trapped ,, like your whole life has been planned out and you've got no control over any of it - then again what comes through : sometimes the outcome isnt so bad - seeing that one person and who they become - sometimes its worth it - to be proud of it . . himself couldn't help but admit that he was .