Just Hold Me [ merlin x arthur ]

5 - even when it hurts

an : hi y'all !! i have SO MUCH DIALOGUE I JUS GOTTA WRITE IT AAA , didn't think it'd get this much notice , so i'll try and update regularly- somewhat ..
there's a lot more i wish i wrote beforehand but i'll see if i can jump it in somewhere
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blue eyes feel towards the warmth of the hand onto of another, his own lips twitching in a bit of a smile that faded almost as quick as it came , mixed and hidden amongst a confused look." so , you're saying someone told you we are connected . . written by history to be in each other's lives ? well . . that'd make a lot of sense then . " he watched Merlin for a moment rather glad he had looked down so he could speak . " when I came back , i thought of you , needed to know where you were . i blamed it on the fact I died in your arms but I suppose i could admit i was concerned where you were . "

" makes more sense when you say it aloud i spouse . . " he lets out a small laugh , giving a simple nod , looking back up to catch his gaze again , taking in his features like he always did , out of habit really , finding one small thing to take note of . .

" i mean i was the last face that you saw . . itd only make sense if it - felt like you were only asleep like you said . . if anything id be the same - "

" yeah... suppose so," he let his eyes trail away while listening to Merlin, brows furrowed in a small frown as he scoffed.

" yes it did but . . " but it felt like more than just some simple concern as to where he was but even when Arthur went to speak of it he didn't , though he supposed he could let it go now. if they were connected as Merlin said then that would explain the emotions . finally  the king pulled his hand back after it had lingered for so long and let it rest in his lap again

" . . gwen looks upon me strangely now , i know she doesn't mean to but I catch her doing so - "

merlin lets him do so , dropping his own back to his lap , even if he missed something but a simple touch , as a brow raises , giving him his full attention as he spoke , " sire , i - im sure its nothing ,, probably just - taking it in — in the fact that your back . . i mean if anything its like . . seeing a ghost - i - not trying to be rude ,, i , as im glad - that your back ,, its just - a little strange - especially after how long - itd of been - "

the king shook his head at this and gave a small sigh ." Arthur . . . when it's like this - when we are alone , it's just Arthur . . " if anything . . he did die in the mans arms
that pulls them past the namely status but Arthur pulled back on himself , his eyes trailing over to Merlins window.

" yes well, it seems everyone is looking at me differently now , testing trying to see if it's truly me who's back or if it's just my face . . after all they do say when you crawl from your grave something's get left behind . but it is me. i haven't changed . "

" sorry — its out of habit - " he muttered sheepishly with a small laugh , even after all these years , it just ,, it stuck with him , sure he saw him more than a king , but a friend but he still put it with the list of names he had in his head .

himself sitting back slightly as he tugs a leg up to his chest , chin sitting on his knee , taking it in to the point where he could see his blue hues shine , the small crack of light peaking through from the small window , causing a small smile to crawl onto his lips again , remaining silent as he listens ,  " . . i believe you ,, i know its you - your the only person whod understand my insults ,, " yet ,, not only that ,, he could feel it , that half that'd of been missing after he died,, it felt whole again -

arthur found himself smiling at that, his own remark coming softer and with a small curl of his lip ." well , it's better than prat." 

he leaned back a bit to stretch, eyes shifting to look down at the cold stone floor." well you spend so much time spewing them it's hard not to understand your insults . . " his smile didn't reach his eyes though , something clearly lingering on the princes mind as his attention turned back to the light rising from the window , he had spent a good portion of his time speaking with merlin , they'd be together as the sun rose to wake for morning .