Just Hold Me [ merlin x arthur ]

6 - awkward encounters

merlin had of left really after he gave him the simple response , keeping to himself as he swifts around the halls to do his orders, it took him a while to bundle around as things were on his own mind , only to tell himself to push it all aside , to move on from it , even if it hurt to .
soon enough he reaches the stables with the basket of food amongst other things that would be needed , saddling the horses up and tying things on before he brings them outside the steps of the castle . fingers wrapped around the leather straps , gaze at his feet , knowing that the day wasn't exactly going to be easy for himself

the next time arthur appeared to merlin he had Guinevere on his arm , the two seeming to chat quietly together as the descended down the stairs together towards merlin .

arthur seemed kind of stiff but that could be played off to nerves as he stopped in front of Merlin with a nod " right then . . . let us get going then . " he aided Gwen up onto the horse before he mounted and looked towards merlin , if his eyes had lingered for a moment before he started off he made sure not to let it be known .

merlin still kept to himself really , averting the others gaze when he stopped , shifting his feet , simply waiting for them to move — handing the rails over once they got up and took a step or two back , sitting his hands behind his back , forcing a small smile onto his lips " well . . have fun - and uh - do be careful out there ,, ill see you two later - " he says , quiet but loud enough for them to hear , before he slowly turns on his heels to make himself head back up the steps
it's not until the blonde took a glance back to merlin as they went , lips sealed , swallowing the stranger urge to call back to him and gripped tighter to the reins , his attention heading back to Guinevere with which he gave a tight lip smile , and forced himself to look ahead . . it's then looks out - watching the two leave the grounds and disappear into the distance , as a sigh escaped his lips , before his gaze fell && he makes his way back in , the pair disappearing into the distance ,
he had his own plans for the day , or at least to pass time , sure himself wanted to go , to spend time with him ,, as they needed moments that wasnt worrisome , but of peace, yet he knew it wasn't his place .

going out without merlin for arthur felt odd but this was for him and his wife . the one who gave him a hesitant smile , who gazed at him when she didn't think he was looking . . perhaps his change was noticeable and in the end inevitable to not be spoken upon . the scrawny manservant did what was needed to be done , starting off to run more errands for giaus , trying his best to distract himself .

The peace that was with them as they stopped to enjoy their picnic together a silence held. They talked of what happened while he was gone, all that was currently happening. Though the saddest thing to Arthur was that he could feel it, they both could. It wasn't the same as it had been before he was gone. Gentle puzzling emotions once associated with love seemed to be questioned together.. turning diplomatic over it all..the change felt by Arthur wasn't from everyone else but from them and perhaps it was too early to tell, perhaps both just didn't know how to cope entirely yet because overall the time was lovely despite the small lingering thought of wanting for someone else to be there as well, they stayed close and smiled together.

———

merlin reaches his chamber to pass the man his herbs , he looks at the boy , knowing the look on his face anywhere , as something seemed to be troubling him , as he went to ask but the other wanted nothing to do with it . the old man watching him bundling his book in his arms , before heading back out , and to the castle grounds ,, finding a tree to sit under && simply read , he happened to do it a lot , especially over the years ,, the one thing that helped him cope .

yet as he does he sits himself down , propping a leg up to sit it on his lap , before beginning to read where he left off , fingers pinching the pages . as it seemed as if no one needed him in the current moment .
sure thered be times where he'd imagine the other with him ,, knowing itd never be , only in his dreams really