Swords and Staffs

9. Forever mine

Alistair:

I woke up in the morning covered in clusters of leaves and twigs, Arly lay next to me. We must have fallen asleep there last night whilst we gazed in awe at the stars. Mother would have been expecting me home soon... wait! I had been away from home all night! She probably expected me home much sooner than I intended to stay! I couldn't let the time I spent with Arlene grow into suspicion. I had to go home before someone noticed something.

"Arly.." I yawned as I gently nudged her shoulder, "Arlene..."

She rolled over to look at me with a sleepy expression on her face. She then rubbed her eyes exhaustedly and sat up in a hunched position.

"What is it?" she asked, eyes half-open.

"Arly, we have to go, I have to go..."

"Awww, why?" Arlene groaned.

"We don't want our parents to realise what we are doing, do we?" 

Arlene sat up straight now, her legs crossed and her hands in her lap.

"I suppose so..." she smirked

"Please Arly, we must be serious about this sort of stuff. Please, if our parents, or anyone for that matter, find out about this, then we are both finished. What we have now, this bond, this friendship, this relationship, it is done. I don't want to lose you, Arlene, every moment counts..."

I had just poured all of my feelings out to her in a moment of weakness. This was not what was supposed to happen! I was the strong one, the tough one, the mentally stable one. The person who would comfort her in her negative times, not the other way round. After my overflow of emotion last night, I didn't was to endure another episode.

I turned away from her in embarrassment, hating myself for revealing how cowardly and emotional I was again.

I felt a delicate hand on my shoulder as I awkwardly stared at nothing.

"Ali, I... I never knew you felt that way." Arlene began in a soft voice.

"I'm sorry, Arlene, it will never happen again, I apologise."

"What is there to apologise for?" she questioned.

There was a short silence. Amidst that silence, the scene I was gazing at became more and more blurry until Arlene spoke again.

"Alistair, please look at me...Ali, look at me."

I turned slowly around and made eye contact with her.

"Alistair, don't feel like you should hide your feelings and thoughts from me, ever. I realise you had a difficult childhood and you were taught to hold all of your emotions in but that's the only thing that is doing the damage. Don't feel like you have to pretend you are ok just to please me because you don't. You have emotions, you have a heart and, that is ok." She held my hand tight, her dainty fingers interlocking with mine.

I dismissed the fact and tried to change the subject.

"Well anyways we must leave before we raise any suspicion as I said before."

"Alistair, don't ignore me, I'm trying to help you."

"It's fine, Arlene, I'm fine. Please just leave it be."

"Ali, no one is going to be able to help you if you just push them away-"

"I don't wish for any help, Arlene! Please, please just stop."