Swords and Staffs

12. Dear Arly

Juliana:

Dear Arlene,

I hope that this letter had made its way easily to you for I didn't know of any address. I just wanted to say sorry as I didn't know that Alistair already had a lover. I wanted to explain what happened because you didn't seem to understand that it wasn't his fault.

The reason why he hadn't been out in a long time was because his mother wanted us to bond more. His mother obviously didn't know about you for some reason so that is why she chose me to be his 'bride'. I am almost certain that Alistair didn't know about it until his mother had given him the news.

It all started when we had become good friends. Alistair wanted to take me to the local inn. He said he wanted to visit some of his Templar friends, so I agreed. He took me to the inn, and he drank alone while I danced. He seemed to be upset. Probably because he didn't know what to do about having to marry someone he didn't love and that he already had someone that he loved. A couple of guys tried to persuade me to dance with them, I felt uncomfortable, so I decided to leave and have some alone time on the balcony.

Whilst alone on the balcony and gazing at the stars and constellations, I feel a hand on my back. To my surprise it is Alistair. I use his proper name whilst telling him how startling he was. He then replied and told me that I should call him Ali. Then he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me towards him. Just as I was thinking that maybe he had too much to drink, he kissed my forehead. I felt delighted I'm sorry to say.

Although I was unsure whether it was him or the mead. Turns out it was the mead. Just to reassure you he had no feelings for me whatsoever, there is no need to worry. I then proceeded to ask him if he was drunk. He told me he was not. I believed him.

I continued to compliment me and flirt with me until he whispered what sounded like a name along with 'You are so beautiful'. At first, I thought he said starry (as in the night sky), or even the shortened version of my name, Julie. Now I know what he said, it was what he called you when we had that conversation in the tent.

"You're so beautiful Arly," not Julie, Arly. All the things he did to me was meant for you Arlene. He literally was so drunk that he thought I was you.

I obviously didn't know what he actually said at the time, so I went along with it and assumed that he said Julie. Everything was all 'romantic', we were holding hands before the beautiful night sky in a 'romantic' balcony scene and pointing out unique constellations and then it happened. The forbidden took place. We kissed. The drunk Alistair enjoyed it because he thought I was you. The real Alistair wouldn't have approved.

We had finally arrived at the camp, and I held Alistair's hair back while he threw up in the horses' water bucket. I also followed him inside the tent to make sure he was ok.

Don't worry, nothing happened.

I don't know why he wouldn't tell his mother about this. I don't know what exactly was going on between you two. I don't know how I am going to persuade my mother to call off the engagement. I also don't know who you are. But one thing is for sure, I would never do anything to ruin your relationship.

I know this isn't the best thing to write in an apology letter, but I really do love him. However, I cannot be selfish and ruin your relationship just because I want him. Because of how I feel about him, I also want him to be happy. I realise that he is at his happiest when he is with you, Arlene.

I just wanted to ask that whatever happens next, take care of him. I promise that for as long as I may live, I will never get involved with him again. I respect your relationship. So please don't go blaming Ali. He loves you more than anything in the world and it would be a shame to break your special bond.

Yours sincerely,

Lady Juliana Bennet.

Arlene:

I sat solemnly on the church pew, swaddled in a towel, as the priest offered me a glass of water and some more tissues.

"How could he do this to me Father Joan? After all we have been through? I thought he loved me. He promised that he would never hurt me! And on my wedding day! Our wedding day! You know I really thought he was the one. I guess it was too good to be true..." I explained.

"Don't worry Miss Mccloud, every bad start comes to a good end. I am sure you and master Penteghast will work things out. Are you certain that he did this, or was that just what it looked like, what you thought or assumed?" Father Joan asked, sitting down next to me.

"To be honest, I don't know what to think..." I murmured, gathering all the used tissues that surrounded me.

"Perhaps you should talk to him about it," he suggested.

"I don't think I would be able to look at him, never mind talk to him. Thank you for the advice though, Father,"

"Perhaps I could talk to him for you, if you find that you are too upset to face him,"

"I will talk to him when I'm ready. Thank you for offering though Father Joan," I turned towards him and gave him a hug. "That was very sweet of you." I continue.

"Don't you worry Miss Mccloud. I refuse to believe that master Penteghast would do such a terrible thing to his beloved. I am sure it is just a silly misunderstanding."

"I hope your right Father Joan. I really hope your right..." I finish as I rise from the pew. "May I ask a favour, Father?"

"Anything Miss Mccloud."

"May I stay here for tonight; I am not sure my father would allow me to come home, and I need to figure out my next move."

"But of course, Miss Mccloud, I have a spare room in the church of which you can stay in until you have made your mind up. It is there for as long as you may need it."

"Thank you so much, Father!" I exclaimed as I gave him another huge hug.

"No problem at all miss Mccloud. Your room is through that door. Be sure to make yourself at home. There are spare clothes in the wardrobe. And if you need anything, my room is across from yours. Feel free to ask me." Father Joan was so kind to me although he barely knew me.

"Thank you, Father!" I say gratefully.

"I must look after Aaldin's children, miss Mccloud. Otherwise, who would? It is my duty."

With one last hug, I turn around and enter my room for tonight.

I open the creaky wooden door to reveal a modest little bedroom with all the basic essentials. A bed (of course), a bed side table equipped with a candle holder, a wooden vanity with a circular mirror, a plain wooden wardrobe full of the spare clothes that Father Joan had lent me, and a bookshelf filled with (well) books. I light the candle on the bed-side table, put on a spare nightgown I found in the wardrobe and went straight to bed. If I was going to make my way home tomorrow, then I would need a lot of rest.