Roots Before Branches

A Kid My Age

I heard your sister was dating my neighbor;
I think she's an awesome girl, good for her.
I heard your brother's our town's next big thing;
A sportsman destined to be great.
And you, with your omnipresence,
You remain an essence.
Something I can't quiet shake,
The remnants of a fallen mate.

Blue is a color most associate with sadness;
The precursor to a life malignantly moulded to madness.
But I didn't know that your favorite color was blue;
I didn't know you needed someone, but now I do.
I feel you in the wind, like a hellbent slap from the heavens,
Knocking some sense into me, a beautiful reverence.
I don't have a why but I do have a who;
And the perfect, winning memory of you.

Your funeral is this weekend and I can't attend;
I'm travelling the world happily;
While yours was crumbling.
I hate that I would tell you how amazing I've been;
I didn't know you were falling apart, ripping right at the seams.
I didn't quite believe the news when I was told;
Some kid your age won't be growing old.
How can that be?
I spoke with you yesterday.
What does this all mean?
You have to come back to go away.

The first thing that I did was find our old yearbook;
Your handwriting is fresh in ink.
I gave it a content, almost satisfied look;
Even though I could feel my heart sink.
I think grief is love coming undone;
Finally exploding within someone.
Reminding you of a life worth living;
And the secrets you kept in surviving.
I miss you, dude.
I really do.
How could you leave, be so rude?
I didn't get to say goodbye to you.