Me, Myself and I

38 - In which caterpillars become butterflies and butterflies become a monster

"Adam, are you sure it's this way?"

"Positive. C'mon, Meadows! You gotta trust me a little more."

So, here's what happened...

Adam came to pick me up at my dorm a little after lunch, saying that he wanted to take me somewhere away from people so we could have our time to talk and all. I found that really sweet and understanding of him so I decided that I would just follow him.

You can all see how the situation happened. I didn't notice where Adam was taking me, and now I'm pretty sure we were lost somewhere in the woods.

"Yeah, because being in the middle of the woods with no map, food, water or even a compass is just an acceptable thing. We don't even have service! If we get lost, we have no way to connect to the outside world! And by the way-" But then, out of nowhere, Adam put his hand over my mouth. Which, safe to say, made me feel like a red tomato.

"Caroline, just this once, I will need you to shut up and trust me. I know where we're heading. I planned it myself."

Since he decided that keeping his hand over my mouth was a good idea, I just raised my eyebrows in a sign of concern.

"Don't worry, this morning I tried my best to find the place to make sure it was safe and it's not that far from here. Ok?"

He slowly put his hand down waiting for my confirmation. I took a small breath and looked at him. "Fine. But can you at least tell me the exact place where we're going?"

He started waking again and I could hear him let out a small laugh. "And ruin the surprise? Nah, not gonna happen. C'mon Caroline, who do you take me for?"

"A reckless, irresponsible, way too relaxed guy who does things last minute and doesn't care about planning ahead."

He suddenly stopped and looked at me from behind. "Is that really what you think of me?"

I was a bit caught up with that. He sounded... hurt? I didn't mean to be rude to him in any way. What if he was actually hurt? What if I suddenly found a way to ruin the whole afternoon? What if after this he'll just want to head back and it ends up ruining the whole trip and it's all because I was rude to him?!

"Well..." I started. C'mon, Caroline, think of a way to save yourself without showing him how much you like him! "... it's not all that I think of you. But in the spur of the moment, considering previous actions of yours, my anxiety just found that as a way of responding to your question and it was pretty mean. I'm sorry if I was rude. I really didn't mean to but you have to take account of external factors su-" But then, he interrupted me... again.

"Hey! Caroline, it's ok. You weren't rude. And I already know that your anxiety sometimes makes you come out as mean so... no pressure."

And just like that, he left me speechless. There I was, overanalyzing the situation, and Adam, a guy I met about half a year ago, just had the perfect words to chill me down. To say that I was liking him more and more by the minute, was an understatement: every single action of kindness, every previously annoying joke, every stupid smirk, and ways that used to make me mad, were becoming a bunch of caterpillars in my stomach. As they crawled across my stomach, they made me feel all sorts of emotions that I was never ready for making me feel even more anxious every time he did something of the sort.

And speaking of said caterpillars, while I was lost in my thoughts, Adam decided that it would be nice to keep that conversation going.

"Well, what else do you think of me?"

I turned my eyes to him hoping that he wouldn't make me answer his question. Because, as you may have guessed, I didn't want to spoil the fact that I liked him. But, if I said that I didn't want to answer his question, he'd immediately ask why which would lead to worse things.