(Angst-ish) Depressed!Pregame!Shuichi

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Slight angst ahead!

Ye be warned...
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(Shuichi's POV)

Those same golden eyes staring back at me in the mirror. How I wished so badly they weren't mine, or they were a clone's. Why couldn't I just get somebody else to live my life for me from now on, anyways...? I was just an ordinary high school student, I wasn't big or important like the Ultimates in Danganronpa.

I combed my hair a bit carelessly, just enough to look good under my hat. Then I stuck it on my head firmly, wishing instead it was a hot sear that would melt my brain. At least then I would receive a death worthy of an Ultimate's execution...

My school uniform that looked like a suit was neatly pressed and folded, not a wrinkle in sight. That wasn't me who'd done that. I changed into it and immediately pulled out my phone, checking for any recent updates on auditions. The 52nd season had just closed two days ago... I wasn't going to miss auditions for anything, even if that meant skipping school. I didn't find any news but kept my phone on vibrate for only notifications from Team Danganronpa.

"Another day in hell..." I mumbled to myself as I walked out the door. Why weren't the Ultimates so grateful they didn't have to go to school? They didn't have to live this disgusting, normal life that was routine for everyone else. They were special, and the rules didn't apply to them.

I chuckled bitterly once the school grounds got in sight after my travel, putting my phone in my pocket. It was just a plain high school, nothing even close to Hope's Peak. As I made my way through the corridors, my interest wasn't taken by anything in the lonely hallways filled with blabbering. That was... until I caught a glimpse of pink.

I instinctively turned my head expecting to see blood like in Danganronpa, and was pleasantly surprised when I noticed a girl holding one of the manga for Danganronpa. My heart began to race at the sight- nobody's been a fan of Danganronpa in my school before! But... I wasn't an Ultimate... I couldn't just... approach her and talk like I was special...

(Your POV)

You walked to class, getting the feeling there was a presence following you. You shrugged it off as someone in your class close behind, and took a seat once you reached said room. The feeling continued for a couple of seconds before fading away, making you shrug it off. Class was boring but you didn't really mind, you had other things to look forward to anyways. Namely, finishing the Danganronpa manga for the third  time.

At lunch you sat alone and read just as you always did, though what bothered you was the feeling of being watched. However, a few minutes before the bell rang it went away. Once you returned to your classroom you found an anonymously wrapped gift on your desk, and upon opening it you saw a Rantaro keychain.

"Wha...? These are brand new and super expensive..." You thought aloud in amazement, carefully adding the keychain to your growing collection. The merchandise for Danganronpa 52 had come out literally yesterday, so the fact you had come into possession of this was a gold mine.

You then noticed a note also in the little box, and picked it up. It simply had a heart drawn very neatly, making you blush a bit at the idea of having a secret admirer. Whoever they were, they must've been really invested.

(Shuichi's POV)

I was really happy she liked my gift, but I couldn't bring myself to smile. I didn't love her, but maybe if she thought a secret admirer did it she wouldn't go investigating because she'd think there'd be more gifts. In reality... I just didn't want my keychain to go to waste before I killed myself by jumping off the school roof today.

I would never live the life of an Ultimate, and I'd already been rejected from three auditions... there was no way I'd be able to live a happier life, it seemed. The rest of the day was just background noise to my ears and once the bell rang, I headed for the roof. Nobody was there so I was allowed to get close to the railing, looking down upon the quickly thinning body of students. I waited and watched quietly as eventually everyone trickled away and the schoolyard was completely empty.

"It's a nice view, yeah?" a feminine voice piped up. I completely disregarded whoever it was as I started to lean a little bit on the railing, but not enough to cause suspicion. Just to look busy and preoccupied.

"...Rude. Whatever, I have manga to read..." the voice sighed, and at the mention of manga I silently looked over my shoulder to see it was the girl with the keychain and the manga that had caught my interest earlier.

"Y-you like Danganronpa?!" I gasped, immediately feeling a bright smile on my face as I realized I could talk about it, "It's so amazing, don't you think?! All the epic showdowns between hope and despair...!!"

The girl smiled back, "I know, right! I wanna go to an audition, but... I dunno..."

"Well, Danganronpa 52 just ended! I bet they're working really hard to get auditions out as soon as possible!" I offered.

"I hope so. If I could get in... I'd wanna be an Ultimate (Talent). What would you be?" she asked.

"I know there's been a couple already, but... I wanna be an Ultimate Detective. Just think- wouldn't it be so cool to have a killer detective?!" I exclaimed.

"Ohh, that'd be so cool!" she chirped. I was about to agree but both our phones buzzed at the same time. We looked at each other before pulling out our phones: both saying that Team Danganronpa was holding auditions for Danganronpa 53 this Saturday!

"Auditions this soon, and so close!!! I'm definitely going,"  the girl giggled.

"I am too. Wait a minute... I wonder if in the killing game we could have some sort of bond together? Like Peko and Fuyuhiko?" I thought aloud, not actually wanting such a thing but maybe it'd make a fellow fan happy.

"Yeah, totally!" she agreed with a smile.

Indeed, those were times I favored more than now. Auditions were long over, and once more I had yet to hear from Team Danganronpa. I hadn't heard anything from (Y/N) since the day before auditions where I learned her name, but even at school she was missing. Did something happen to her...?

I was on my way to school one day when I was suddenly pulled into a black van that started driving off. I was confused and started struggling, but they were already driving off.

(???'s POV)

"She died?"

"Yes, in a car wreck. We had to use our backup audition number 154 to replace her. His name is Shuichi Saihara and he wants to be an Ultimate Detective. Do with that as you will."

"Ultimate Detective? ...Wow, he must've been hurt a lot... I remember she said something about a Shuichi. Wouldn't it be interesting if that bond they had was his emotions being weak...? But, we'll write in a different reason related to his talent! We'll say it was related to a case!"

I triumphed at my idea and began to sew together a costume for a new Ultimate Detective, stitching together his new personality and backstory as I did so. I would recreate everybody's pasts and make the best killing game anyone had ever seen... with me as the mastermind. It was a thought I smiled to as I continued to sew.

(Shuichi's POV)

I know now I was picked up to participate in Danganronpa 53. My memories will be erased soon, so let me say... I'm glad I can participate. Somebody I was beginning to grow close to died in order for me to reach it but that's what despair's about, right...? It was a thought I smiled to as I secretly hated it. This wasn't the ending I wanted but it was too late now...

That was my last thought as the Blackout Light caused all of my memories to fade away into nothingness.

~~~
Word count: 1383

Merry sad Christmas.

P.S. this oneshot was written more as a way for me to vent so if it doesn't tell a cohesive story or rushes a lot I'm sorry.

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