am I just existing?

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I have felt very similar to this before
but not quite
the same

I used to go through the routine
The monotonous routine
To keep my mind off the world
Like I was waiting for death

This ain't the same

I laugh
I cry
I feel joy and sadness
anger and madness
But only at those moments am intended to

Rest of the time
I sit completed
And without purpose and drive
Isn't this what I had wanted?
To be content?

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