Apocalypse's Horsemen (Devil's Assistant Series - Book 3)

Apocalypse's Horsemen [27]

Chapter 27

My mouth hung open and I could only stare up at Binah. What was there to say?

“How? Wha-?” I stuttered the words out before letting my mouth drop open again.

She shifted from foot to foot, a flush storming across her beautiful skin as she struggled to maintain eye contact. She was dressed in another of her elegantly embroidered saris. The golden threads on the cream coloured fabric only made the woman shine all the more. And yet she looked so normal – so good.

“I’ve been around a long time Savannah. I came to this world when it was new, when your people were still cave dwelling Neanderthals.  I needed purpose in my life. It’s who I am. Without purpose I would become like my kin, crazed from the inaction.”  She rubbed a hand up and down her arm. I watched it closely like the simple gesture would unravel this being’s outer shell and reveal all of her secrets.

“Why come forward now? You’ve been hiding for a long time. Lucius thinks you are his sister. He thinks that you were created by God too.” I paused. A frown made its way onto my face. “How did you even manage to do that? Did you manage to fool God too?”

Binah slumped down onto the sofa beside me, not even noticing when I flinched away from her presence. Her eyes became unfocused as she stared off into the distance.

“Once I had aided the old Gods in imprisoning my three brothers, I wandered out into the world on my own for the very first time. It was bliss. I saw all of the wonders of the world, discovered new and exciting things.”

She turned her eyes to me then. In them I could see the memory of joy that lingered within. I could see the sparkle of excitement those first days of freedom had given her.

“I could do what I wanted and I did not have to spend the majority of my time wondering which of my siblings would be the one to wipe out the planet. They had done it before and they were more than capable of doing it again.” She shivered delicately so I placed a hand on hers. I got a smile in thanks.

“When your God was born, he was young and new. I gave him guidance and advice.” Binah looked down at her hands and smiled softly to herself. “He was kind, loving. He was so pure and good in heart. He offered me a place when I had nowhere else to go.”

Her voice had become wistful, almost like she was-. I couldn’t believe I was going to even ask the question but the words were out before I could stop them.

“Did you love him?”

“I did and I still do. I always will. What humans perceive God to be is just but a small fraction of what he actually is.” Binah shook her head and twirled the ends of her braided hair around her finger. “No one I meet will ever be able to compare. Unfortunately I will never be able to experience love as mortals do so I must live with just my fantasies.”

I nodded my head and tried not to be blown away. Sure, I could understand loving the almighty but to Binah he was a person just like Lucius was to me. He may have the titles and all the trappings that come with in but from the glint in her eye, I could see that there was more than just the love for a God there.

“I stayed by his side and when his son fell in love with a mortal, he asked me to go with him down to earth. I had become restless up above. Heaven is a wonderful place but for souls like mine, peace and contentment do not come easily and never say for long.” Her fingers clenched around her skirt as she bowed her head. “If you cannot be with the one that you love like your form demands you be. Well, it all becomes a bit messy.” The horseman shrugged her shoulders and offered a sheepish smile. “I fell too with the knowledge that once I had fallen, I would not be able to return. It was the hardest choice I had to make but it was for the best. We could never be together like my heart yearned for us to be – it was impossible. It is impossible. So instead I have spent millennia standing by Lucius’ side, watching over him as God has asked me to do.”