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COURTNEY WISHED THAT SHE COULD TURN BACK TIME

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COURTNEY WISHED THAT SHE COULD TURN BACK TIME. She would've taken more risks. She would've let herself live more. She would've decided to take Mark's hand that night and let herself get wrapped up in the music, in the feelings. However, time travel didn't exist: there was no way to go back to the past. The moment that she had seen Mark leave the bar with Callie she knew what it was going to lead to; She wasn't wrong. Those two had gotten together again and had a great time — maybe even multiple. Courtney had heard about it the next day. A couple of nurses had been talking about it and she had happened to overhear the conversation. It wasn't like they were being quiet about it.

Her heart had shattered into a million pieces the moment her brain had registered the words. She hadn't been able to move due to the shock and heartbreak. The only one to blame for her heart getting broken was herself. She couldn't blame Callie, because she had no idea how Courtney felt about Mark. There was no way to tell that she could. She couldn't blame Mark, because he, as well, didn't know how she felt about him. Little did she know that there were feelings on his part. That night, he had felt rejected and to rid himself of the heartbreak he decided that getting with someone else was the best choice. It should be noted here that Mark Sloan doesn't always make good decisions, with this being a prime example.

"I really don't like her," Eva Romero stated, taking a sip of her hot coffee. She was leaning over the nurses' desk, where Courtney was currently catching up on some charts of her patients. The latter nodded as the pen in her hand continued scribbling. "She just thinks she's all that, because she's dating Derek now. Rose just rubs me the wrong way, always has been. Did she honestly think that I was going to switch surgeries just because she asked nicely? You thought. You know how you sometimes have people that you just don't like just because. Well, she's one of those people for me."

"Hmh."

"Are you even paying attention?"

"What? Yes, I am." Courtney finally looked up from the paper. Her otherwise full of life eyes looked tired and sad. Every minute of every day since that night she was trying to fight the tears she was holding back. She was doing everything in her power to hold herself up, but she was slowly losing that fight against herself. The life in her eyes was slowly leaving. That sparkle that made her ocean blue eyes shine so bright was dimming by the second

Eva leaned over even more, now almost lying on the desk, "You look sad, Court. You look like you can burst into tears at any moment. I know that I asked you this a million times, but are you sure that you are doing alright? Please be honest. Asking for some help never hurt anybody."

"I'm fine." Courtney answered, not wanting to talk about it. Certainly not now. She knew that one wrong word could set her off and make her start sobbing. So, to avoid all of that, she tried to steer away from the subject.

"Courtney, please."

Courtney looked up from her chart, annoyed. "Stop it, okay? I'm fine and I will be fine once this blows over. Can't we just stop talking about it? He doesn't like me and it doesn't surprise me. I'm a br— ," Her voice cracked halfway through the sentence and she blinked a bit faster. She took in a deep breath before continuing to speak. "Never mind, I'll be fine. I just need some time without you constantly asking me that question and I'll be like I was before. Time heals all wounds, doesn't it? This is my fault that I'm feeling like this. Which idiot catches feelings for their friend?"

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