The Adventures of Nancy Drew (In Chronological Order) Season 1

Episode 23-Together At Last

Nancy searched for images in the clouds. It was one of her favorite games to play in the car. She could entertain herself for hours, piecing together different things. A lion, a tree, an alien. It let her escape from reality for a bit. Forget about everything. 

As they drove along the cliffside, Nancy couldn't stop blaming herself for what happened to Sal. She had been so sure the prisoner was Jackson that she blinded herself to the true danger.  Lucifer. The Devil himself.

Sal would have died if the Winchesters hadn't saved her. If they had gotten there a second later, Sal wouldn't be sitting next to Nancy right now. And it would have been her fault.

"Hey." Sal nudged Nancy with her shoulder. "You okay?"

"You almost died today," Nancy murmured. "Because of me."

Sympathy shone in Sal's eyes. Gently, she laid her hand over Nancy's.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself," Sal said. "I'm the one who chose to go off alone. I didn't even bother to talk to Sam or Dean first. I just rushed in. If I had died, it would have been my own fault. You were just trying to help."

"That's the thing, though, isn't it?" Nancy said bitterly. "When one of you helps, it's actually useful. You protect us, Elizabeth makes us smart, and Destiny's our moral compass. But whenever I try to help, it backfires. My actions, no matter how good my intentions might be... they hurt us."

Nancy paused. It was hard for her to get the last part out.

"I  hurt us."

A lump formed in Sal's throat. 

"Nance..." 

"Every time it looks like we've made progress, I do something to mess it up," Nancy whispered. "You saved us from the goblin attack--I almost got myself killed. You found Mako Island and took our sisters there to hide--I put you and the Mako Mermaids in danger when you came to rescue me. You told me to stay out of trouble at the bunker--I wandered off and literally confronted the Devil. Don't you see, Sal? Every time I think I'm helping, I'm just making things worse. And one day I'll make a mistake too big to come back from because that's my role in our family. I'm the self destruct button."

Tears brimmed Sal's eyes. She tried to wipe them before they could fall but there were too many and they came too fast. Over the years, she had mastered the art of silent crying to prevent her sisters from worrying about her. Elizabeth and Destiny slept soundly beside her now, so in order to keep it that way, Sal had to choke down her sobs with anger.

"Nancy, where are we right now?" Sal asked sharply.

"In a car," Nancy said. 

Sal nodded curtly. "Exactly. We are inside Sam and Dean's car. Do you know how we got here?"

Nancy shrugged dumbly. 

Sal rolled her eyes. "We're here because of you, Nancy. You're the one who convinced Sam and Dean to help us. If it hadn't been for you, we would probably be Jackson's prisoners right now."

"Elizabeth helped, too," Nancy mumbled. "She gave them the final push."

"But it was your idea," Sal argued. "You thought of it. Not Elizabeth, not Destiny, you. You have so much potential and you don't even see it. Intelligence, strength, bravery. If you could just look past your flaws, your true beauty would shine through."

An unwelcome wave of emotion washed over Nancy. She turned to face the window so Sal wouldn't see her shame, but there was no hiding the tremor in her voice.

"I have no beauty." Nancy's lip wobbled under the pressure to keep herself together. "I'm the ugly duckling of the group. Inside and out. If you asked me what color my heart is I would have to say black."