Aberration (JTHM x Reader)

XX

I let out an exasperated sigh, pushing open my front door. When I shut the door I limply leaned against it, almost neglecting to notice the two women slumped against my house until Devi simply said "Hey." When our eyes met I stood up straight. Closing my heavy eyes for a second, I spoke. "You're still here." She pursed her lips. "Well, yeah. When you called to say you were at-" she hesitated, "I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, is all."

"Hm. Well in safe...enough" I said flatly, walking over and sitting between the two women. "Jeez, you don't look like it." Tenna finally spoke up, "You should get more fresh air or something." She suggested. "No, I'm fine– I'm just stressed. I just need sleep, yeah, just sleep."

Devi shook her dead, knowing full well that something happened while I was out. "Look
Y/N, I'm no therapist, but maybe you should get a hobby or something to take your mind off of things..." I stayed silent, preferring to just stare at the floor. When I didn't answer her, She stood up. "Keep yourself safe, alright? Come on Tess, Y/N probably needs time to herself." And in almost an instant, both of them left.

Silence flooded the room, instantly clawing at my brain and making me feel more lonely than ever. It made my skin crawl. I hugged my arms, deciding that it felt colder in here than it usually did. Opting to kill two birds with one stone, however, I made a beeline to the bathroom, deciding that I should go for a shower to clean the dry blood from my hair, and to heat me up.

I grimaced as the steaming water hit my cold skin, but persevered as it was better than nothing. Initially, I had started to gently rub soap over me, but it soon turned into furious scratching, as if I wanted to claw my way out of my own body. Who would blame me? I killed someone! I killed my helpless friend! I sat down in the tub as the water cascaded down my body as well as my tears.

I'm a fucking monster. I mean— Yeah, F/N was a bitch— but she didn't deserve to die. I hugged my knees, feeling physically uncomfortable just thinking about it. I shook my head, trying to focus on my breathing instead of filling my head with destructive thoughts. I'm not sure how long I was sitting there, but it was at least long enough for the water to start running cold. For some strange reason, I didn't even notice until I heard a faint knock on my door, to which I gasped in shock to the cold almost stabbing at my skin. As quickly as I could, I got out of the shower and ran into the living room with a towel loosely wrapped around my frame. "Just a second." I frantically shouted, before running into my bedroom to get some clothes. I rushed to put away too oversized shirt on as well as shorts. I definitely didn't look my best but I was at least somewhat presentable.

When I finally opened the door, my eyes widened. "Mr Harred? Uh, Hey." I flashed him an awkward smile. He never came to my house, like ever. "Oh, Y/N! Are you alright?" He said apprehensively, reaching his hands out as if to comfort me in some way. I gulped. "UH- Uhm- Yeah..? Sorry, come in. I'll make tea."

We sat on the sofa with our tea, Him looking at me and I trying to avoid eye contact. "I'm so sorry, I know you and that F/N girl we're close in high school." I exhaled through my nose. "I just can't believe that someone could kidnap her!" My brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

Mr Harred frowned. "Oh, Sweetheart. Haven't you heard? Footage was found of F/N being hit over the head and dragged off somewhere." I sighed in relief. He doesn't know. "Oh... Guess I've just not had the time to watch the news." I shrugged, taking a sip from my tea. "That's alright, princess. I know you've been having a hard time. I don't understand you youngsters, but maybe you should talk to your brother about it-"

"Kevin wouldn't understand. He sells drugs to 14-year-olds for a living. He wouldn't get anything!" I shouted out of frustration, surprising both Mr Harred and I. "God- I didn't mean it— Jeez, in sorry-" He bemoaned my action. "It's quite alright, Sweet pea. Please just rest. I didn't want to mention it but you don't look so well. You're starting to get paler again." He stood up, a frown evident on his face. He looked liked he was ashamed of me. "Take as much time off of work as you need. I know you certainly need to have some to yourself." He leaned down to hug me and without another word he left.

Here comes that emptiness again.

I didn't leave my house for a few days after that, and I barely left my sofa. My mental health didn't improve at all as I was just pushing everything to the back of my mind while I filled my brain with trash TV. Better than nothing I suppose.

I strained my eyes, trying to focus on the TV, the light of which was the only thing illuminating the room. I wasn't all too captivated in what I think were Family Matters as I didn't think they were all too funny, but I did force a few laughs out too make myself feel less lonely. The rain outside was heavy as well as the wind, so I certainly wasn't expecting visitors, but you never can expect Johnny to ever show up.

He strutted through the front door which dot some reason I neglected to lock. "Hey Y/N! The fuck are you doing awake at this hour?" He Humoured, sitting down. I ignored him, instead just shifting slightly to five him space. Johnny grunted, "C'mon, don't be like that! I swear I just want to talk." I glanced at him, arching an eyebrow. "About?"

"About how I kinda make you kill your friend against your will." He shrugged. Did he just acknowledge the I didn't want to do something that's fucked up? Wow. "What's there to say? I did it and that's that." He was silent for a second until I heard a huff. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I wasn't thinking straight at the time. It wasn't alright for me to even call you in the first place." I looked at him, trying not to give away the fact that I was shocked. "It's- fine. It fucked me up but it's fine." My tone was rather sarcastic at the end, but it didn't seem as if he noticed.

"Really? I still feel bad. How can I make it up to you?"