worn out.

U For Uncaring

The sky was dark from behind the fogged windows, they were clean. How long has it been since he was clean? They did a body check on everyone; Atsu gave his excuse and they believed it. He was now covered head to toe in gauze and bandages.

He watched as Kanzaki played a video game, shooting spaceships and anything in her way, button smashing all the virtual enemies to oblivion. Atsu stares, he remembers playing games like these when he was younger, much younger. About seven or eight, when his parents still felt guilty. The black haired boy was oddly good at it.

"Hey Hino! You seem to be staring at that screen intently, you wanna give it a go." Kanzaki asked politely.

"Sure, why not." He shrugs, the black haired girl watches as he shows no pain when the bandages on his shoulders become darker.

"Hey, Hino?"

"Yes, Kanzaki?"

There is a silence, she's hesitant, shiny, sundressed eyes darting to his wounds. Watching as he stares blankly at her.

"Can you feel pain?"

_

"Whatever, I'll get the ball rolling. Isogia and Meahara are half decent I guess." Rio starts. Her hands behind her head of blonde hair, a grin spilling on her sunkissed face.

"Gross. You don't seriously like them."

"Why not~." The blonde teases, her eyes hold a taunting look. "Meahara plays the field though, so I'd never actually go out with him, and Isogia's class monitor so, he's like, upperly league."

"Karma's the cutest of them all if you ask me,"

"Too bad he's such a psycho."

"True." They all chorus, sighing in disappointed.

"C'mon, I don't think he's that bad if you get to know him." Okuda brings up, scratching the back of her head with one hand and pushing up her glasses with the other. Her face tinting a deep shade of vermillion.

"Hey, at least he's quiet most of the time."

"Yeah, so are wild animals... Anyway, I don't think Atsu's that bad looking, actually he's pretty cute." Hayami brings up, taking a sip of her sparkling peach-water.

Rio looks at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yeah, but he's so cold."

"Better than a sadist." She brings up.

"Yeah, I guess."

They all laugh, giggles flitting through the small dormroom.

_

The rooftop is cool under the black night sky, transparent clouds briskly filter the forever creasent moon that lay encompassed in white, lustrous stars.

Atsu sits cross legged on the tiled surface, his face is hyperborean, he is completely numb in his beige yakuta. His eyes are closed, the bandages are more coverage; at least he's clean of all his wounds. Now Kanashi doesn't have to worry about him. Now her eyes won't be sad, now she can smile like she did by the一 before Ame一 before she drowned.

He let's out a breath of air that is far too heavy and tired for a fifteen year old to bare. His ribs hurt and his hands are wrapped, the burns had gotten somewhat infected, Karasuma had covered them in Alocane and wrapped them in soft pads of cotton. He brushes his fingers on the sheet of icy that lay on the roof, cold.

He looks over at the edge of the building, it's like the rock, but there is no ocean pushing against it. He can smell the salt in the air although his body is nowhere near a beach. He can hear the seagulls calling out to one another, it makes his ears ring. His stomach quelches, a sickening sound coming from it.

Something creeks from behind him, Atsu is to distracted by a figmental ocean to hear anything. He's too distracted by a dream world where the sky always tastes like rain and he never see's a crimson wave in his life. Where he can still stand to swim without glaring at water, and where he can find himself smiling freely. When he cried over nonsensical things that only children cried about; where he could fear the unknown and go stock still out of a gut feeling.

"Hey Atsu-chan, what're you doing up here?"

"I'm trying to recall a time when-" He doesn't know what to say next. He's not trying to recall anything. He's trying to push it back, cover it with bits of sand and grovel and dirt. He doesn't know. He can't remember. All he knows are blank looks and spiteful glares and Kanashi's tired eyes. She's too young to be that tired, he thinks, he's too young to be this tired.

Maybe he should tell the boy next to him— maybe something good will come from it. It would be so easy, just two words he can't say. They won't come out. They stay safe in his throat, comfortable in a layer of fear. Then it comes to him, fear, is this what it's like?

Help me. It rings in the back of his head, something stops him; it's fear and cowardice. He feels his hands shake and his vision becomes blurry with salt water, his ears are stuffed with cotton.

He thinks it- he thinks it feels wonderful. The static is gone from his burning head and the rims of his eyes become swelled and puffy; it's almost as if he's crying. No water drips from his face, his eyes twist, his lips are spilled into a frown.

He can hear gurgling, crying, sobbing. Kanashi, where is she? She was there too wasn't she? Yes, he can hear her? He can't see her, where is sh—

Karma puts a calloused hand on his shaking shoulders, a sharp grin playing on his lips. Karma looks as Atsu, the boys black eyes are glossy with something like trepidation, and he looks at Atsu's gaped mouth, a feeling filling him. Something he himself will choose to ignore.

Then Atsu speaks again, his voice is cracked and broken, as if he had been beaten. Perhaps it was those thugs from before, PTSD being a thing. Something in the genius brain of his tells him it's not.

"I'm trying to remember when the world wasn't as twisted."

U is for Uncaring;

I was never the best with sharing

A spoiled brat is what they were baring

Broken and shattered

Not worth living

They should send him to the sea

So they could see

He can be set free

From the golden cage they had

And only then will he be glad

That you had made him mad

That you had lied,

That you had all but made him cry

Made him sigh

But first-

But foremost-

Before the clouds mingle in the sky

You must finally say goodbye