Hustle Vs Muscle

Chapter 25: The Painful Decision

Feeling lackadaisical and lethargic, I drag myself out of bed. I just got up and I slept early last night, yet I'm still tired. I don't want to go to school. Or practice. I consider quitting the basketball team, but the thought of it is so bad that I force it out of my mind. Quitting means throwing away what I've put my passion and energy into.

"Hey, Christina." says MK at lunch. "You okay?" "Just tired." I say. I don't want to quit but I don't think I can stand one more practice with Coach Anthony and these boys who hate me, who want me off the team, simply because I'm short and I'm a girl. I trudge slowly onto the court for practice. "Christina." Coach Anthony says.

I don't know why but I have a really, really bad feeling about this.

"Me and the other boys discussed something in the locker room." says Coach Anthony. "We decided to have all the boys write down one reason why you should be on the team and reasons why you shouldn't and have them tell you." I nod. A little constructive criticism never hurts and can even help you up your game. Chase goes first.

"Okay," says Chase. "I think you should be on the team because you're really fast and I think you shouldn't be on the team....uh...I couldn't think of a reason for that."

Aiden goes next. "I think you should be on the team because you're really aggressive." he says. "But I couldn't think of a reason why she shouldn't be here."

Then the other boys list their reasons. I feel heavier and heavier with dread and sadness as they go on. Most of the other boys' reasons why I should be on the team are backhanded compliments and their "reasons" why I shouldn't be on the team are flat-out insults. D'amato's reasons are the worst to listen to. "You should be on the team because it's interesting to watch you humiliate yourself." he says. "And you shouldn't be on the team because you're too short for us and you take opportunities away from other people."

I can't handle it anymore. I can't take anymore. I break into a run. I run down the hallway, outside. Moments later, my feet are pounding rapidly against the sidewalk, tears flowing from my eyes, almost blinding me. I'm surprised I can run this fast on what little energy I've got. My face is wet with sweat and my salty tears. I keep running, until I've reached home. I see a note on the front door.

Running a few errands. Will be back in an hour. There is food in the fridge if you're hungry.
Love Mom

I let myself in and rush upstairs, running smack into Luke. I brush past him, but he stops me. "Hey, what happened? You're crying.." he says. I tell him everything, slowly and honestly, because I'm too exhausted to cover it up and lie. Luke nods and listens. "I'm sorry, Christina." Luke says. "But if it's too much, you have to quit." "But if I quit, I'll be proving D'amato right, that I can't handle it." I say, tearfully. "Christina, wake up!" says Luke, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. "Look what this is doing to you. This isn't about proving anything anymore. It's your mental health we're talking about!"

Luke sighs. "Just resign." he says. "You can still go to practice tomorrow and the game, but afterward go up to Coach Anthony and tell him you're resigning." "Fine." I sigh. Tomorrow and the day after will be my last practices. This Friday will be my last game. I almost cry at the thought. This has to be the hardest, most painful decision I have ever made.