Alyssa x Dennise

ABOUT: Happy Birthday

Happy birthday is inspired by a lot of things, some of which may be obvious to you and some very personal to me.

This has been sitting in my drafts for half a year now. I started writing it after I organized my bestfriend's party. That night was a wild ride for me, I can actually write another story just from what happened that night.

Here's the thing. I've known her since high school and I spent most of freshman year winning her over. We were young and it might not be love then but how can anyone say that it's still not if it's been this long and I still feel the same way?

I've met a lot of people since then. Dated a lot of women. Fucked around. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks but somehow no matter where I go, I feel like life always leads me back to her.

We've known each other for almost ten years now. We went to the same university, though we took entirely different programs. She was always so busy with duty or studying for something and I was always busy with whatever I was into doing at the moment but we always found time to catch up.

A few times we went out for coffee while she studied and I wrote a script. Or we spent the few minutes our vacant time matched to sit at the university quadrangle and have snacks. Sometimes she walked me to class or I walked her to hers. Some nights we went out to watch a movie, grab dinner, and spontaneously decide to drive to the closest beach which is an hour away. There are days when all the time we got was the walk to the parking lot when she's too tired to stay but I have to hang around a little longer.

There are moments in all those years when we grew apart and it seemed like she was so far away. There was a time when we fought over something so big I thought we will never make up. We still bicker over the smallest things until now but I think somewhere in the last decade we just realized all those fights and sometimes annoying bicker makes us who we are.

It makes me smile out of the blue sometimes thinking of how this person calms me, keeps me grounded, smoothens my edges but also sometimes disturbs my quiet.

It's been almost a decade. An entire fucking decade. I have felt like this all those years and have not said anything. I settled with watching other people make her swoon, with holding her in my arms and being angry with and for her when a stupid boy breaks her heart, with being the person she came to talk about others when all I ever wanted is to be the person she can't stop talking about.

While it hurt in the beginning, somewhere along those years I learned to be content in knowing that at least I am the one she comes to. At least I have the power to give her the world as I know it and also the ability to fuck up anyone who hurts her in the slightest bit. Believe me, I have tried both.

So that is what this is all about. Happy Birthday is inspired by all this whirlwind of emotions and also the fact that it was Den's birthday yesterday and she's getting married really soon.

Also, if you haven't listened to it yet, please listen to Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. I have always wanted to get married to this song playing in the background and something at the back of my mind tells me I only want it if it's with her.

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So, here's something new I'm trying. Every story is inspired by or from a different person or event in my life and if you want to know, maybe you can leave a comment or personal message and I will write something about it.