𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽 ღ 𝒥𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓀𝑜𝑜𝓀

Chapter 20: Just want to be thin

Jungkook's P.O.V

I was awoken by a door closing with a loud thud. I had to reopen my eyes several times to adjust to the sharp light in the room, when I fully adjusted I saw our manager walking towards my bed with a wheelchair. He looked at me with stern eyes, but he didn't look all that angry, just stern.

"I'm here to pick you up, I picked everything up that we had to take to your dorm and I did all the paper work. I already spoke to the company's management and the CEO, you are getting some time off."

"But what about the comeback?"

"It has been postponed for about a month, if you are ready you can join, if not there will be a comeback without you."

"B-but there is nothing wrong with me.."

"I don't want to talk about this right now, when you are in this state." The manager stated. "Let me help you change in these clothes," he held up a bag, "and get you to the car."

It all happened in a haze, I was too got up with my thoughts. I wanted to cry, there was nothing wrong with me. Why is everyone telling me that I eat too little, when I shouldn't be eating at all.

Before I knew it, I was sat in a different company car instead of the one I used to know. I felt small, the other members must hate me, they probably like it better when I'm not in the group. They are probably enjoying an interview without me and will be laughing so much more, laughing at me, about me.

Oh they probably are having an amazing time.

They love it without you

I closed my eyes, I did not want to think about it, although it must be true.

The manager started the car and put on the radio. The interview that was scheduled a while back was currently live on the radio, I heard all the members talking cheerfully. I focused fully on what they were saying, when RM suddenly said something about me, and I felt like disappearing into the unknown.

"Our comeback will be postponed, Jungkook needs some time of due to health issues. Of course we want to come back with all members, so I hope ARMY aren't too sad. We will be back as a full group soon."

I was sure I could hear the disappointment in his voice, I knew he was. They all were.

It wasn't a very long ride, once they arrived, I couldn't even turn around my seat to open the door or the manager was already standing in front of the door. I suddenly saw a glint of regret in his eyes and I wondered why. Was he remorseful about the fact that I was still fat?

He helped me out of the car, I really wanted to walk on my own but the manager wouldn't let me. I was placed on the couch as the manager walked out the get all of the stuff he brought from the hospital. He was back within seconds and laid down the stuff on the kitchen table. I saw weird tablets and some bottles. Also an booklet which had the name 'diet plan' on top. When I saw that I pressed my eyes closed again and just wanted to disappear. I felt horrible.

The manager suddenly went into the bathroom and I saw him walking out with the scale. "What are you doing?" I asked, cringing at my voice crack in the middle of the sentence.

"No more scales for you for the time being, I'm taking it into custody." He sternly said.

How was I supposed to keep track of my progress if it wasn't there?

"Why? Why why why? GIVE IT BACK." I screamed at the manager. He looked shocked, I had never screamed at him before. Moreover, it was rude to scream at someone older, it was a rude thing to do at anyone honestly.

I stood up to grab it back, but he easily held my wrist. I didn't have the energy to push further and I started to cry, whispering "give it back" repeatedly. Why was I so weak?

"No Jungkook, this is what the doctor wants me to do." He smiled a kind smile and gave me a reassuring squeeze. He had never done that before and I was surprised. Didn't the manager always hate me? I even screamed at him.

I tried to stop crying, but my eyes wouldn't let me.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I didn't want to resist, so I nodded.

I was let to my room and I climbed in my bed. I did not want to say anything anymore, even though I felt the eyes of the manager pressing in my back, only small sobs escaping my mouth. After a while he probably gave up and closed the door behind him. I grabbed the sheets and pulled them over my head. I wanted to die, I wanted to disappear, I just wanted to be thin.

I just want to be <happy> thin.

A/N

I am absolutely sorry for my very long hiatus.

I was extremely busy, currently I'm less busy so I hope to update regularly again, might be quite short chapters, but at least it's something.

Thank you all so much for sticking with me, really means a lot. And I'm almost at 200K on this story, I am SO thankful!!! 

I love you all dearly, stay healthy and I hope you enjoyed this chapter <3 

Much love,

Cherry