Hallowed (B. Barnes)

Chapter Seventeen

It doesn't take long for Bucky to pack up what he has. It literally fits in one bag. That is his life. But now he has Sydney. He has a real life. And his is terrified of losing her and this life. This normality. He drops Sydney's spare key onto the table at the top of the stairs and looks around for her. She's in her...their room tidying her draws, making space for him. He smiles softly leaning in the doorway to watch her as she moves around. Her dressing robe swishing around her thighs. She's beautiful in this light. The sun setting out the window. Her hair all pulled up but lose, falling out of the hair tie. And he is going to get to see this every single day. She turns and smiles broadly at him. He pushes up and walks closer to her.

"I emptied a couple of draws" She offers as he sets his bag down onto her...their bed. "I didn't know how much space you would need" he places his hand on the small of her back and then curls it around her pulling her to his chest, he nuzzles into her neck and smiles.

"Thank you" he offers and pulls back. She turns to face him. "But you sure about this?" he asks wrapping his arms around her waist to tug her closer. "You can still change your mind"

"Why would I do that?" She counters cocking her head, her fingers threading through his hair. "I got you now" she teases, he laughs and nudges her nose.

"Your own personal live in rent boy, huh?" he teases.

"Oh, implying I'm paying you for the mind blowing sex" she counters, he kisses her and chuckles against her lips.

"I'd do it for free" he sets his hand on her ass and squeezes, she laughs and playfully swats at his hand. "So...Mind blowing?" he asks as he pulls back. She shrugs a little and smirks. He raises an eyebrow and then walks them both back until her legs hit the end of the bed. She raises an eyebrow at him, he smirks and nudges her backward, she falls back onto the bed with a chuckle. He climbs up, hovering over her, he threads his fingers with hers and place them over her head. "I've never been this happy" He admits as he stares down at her, her features soften. "You make me this happy" he adds, his fingers stroking her cheek. He gives her a sad smile, because how sad is that statement. That he can't ever remember being this happy before. But she knows how he feels, she's believed she's been happy in the past, with her family, with her former lover, when she was pregnant, but it's never felt like this. She is happy now. True happy. He kisses along her jaw and nuzzles into her neck, she wraps her arms around his neck as a few tears drop from his eyes to her neck. Their not sad, not really, he's happy, and that makes him sad sometimes, that this was never in his life before Hydra, that he had to go through everything he has been through to get to this moment, to get to her. And he cries because he would go through all of that pain, all of it again....just to be with her. Because she makes him happy. And this sort of happy, he would kill and die for.

"It's okay" she whispers softly as she strokes his hair. "It's okay to be sad" he lifts his head and shakes his head.

"I'm not" he assures her. "I'm not sad...." he kisses her cheek. "It just....hit me" he lays next to her. "What we have" she raises an eyebrow and he shakes his head. He can't explain it without having to explain his entire life to her. He can't explain that being with her is more than he cold have hoped for when he fled Hydra. That even with Hydra, someone like her being in his life wasn't even a thought in his brainwashed mind. He kisses her head and then sits up. His eyes finding his bag at the end of the bed, he shifts his eyes to the empty draw and smiles. This is actually happening. Normality. Her hand finds his back as she sits up, her lips pressing to his shoulder, he takes a deep breath and then looks down at her, she smiles up at him. He smiles back, he can't help it, every time she smiles at him it is like he has this subconscious reaction to her, his body tingles, his heart speeds up, his face stretches into a smile, and all bad thoughts vanish from his head. It's too soon for those three words. I love you. But he knows he does. He nudges her nose and holds her closer to him. "Let me unpack" he tells her warmly. "Then we can sit in front of the tv with those cookies" she smiles and nods. He kisses her forehead and then stands to get settled in his new home.

..............

Bucky stands at the cooker, soft jazz music playing from the radio. He woke up in a good mood. No nightmares. No bad thoughts. Even the pain in his arm was numb this morning. So he decided to cook breakfast for his girlfriend. His girlfriend. It's only now starting to sink in, well it was only last night when it started to sink in. That that is what Sydney is to him. That this is actually happening. He is mending and moving on from the past. And the longer they are here, together, undisturbed, the more he can believe that. Sydney wraps her arms around him from behind and kisses his back. Bucky chuckles softly but continues cooking. He's been cooking for her more after his successful attempt in October. He actually enjoys it.

"I could get used to this" she admits as she nuzzles into his skin. He touches her arm around him and stops her from pulling away.

"Me too" he adds quietly, she hums happily and then pulls away, this time he allows her. She moves to the coffee machine just as it beeps away. Bucky's eyes follow her, he can't stop smiling. He doesn't want to stop smiling.