Hallowed (B. Barnes)

Chapter Nineteen

A/N - IF SYD USES HER DREAM MANIPULATION ON BUCKY, TO SEE HIM THROUGH A NIGHTMARE, WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD SHOW HIM?? I WAS WANTING TO DO A SCENE WHERE BUCKY IS HAVING A NIGHTMARE AND SHE SOOTHES HIM THROUGH IT, JUST CAN'T DECIDE ON WHAT SHE'D SHOW HIM. NOT SURE WHEN THIS WOULD HAPPEN, EITHER BEFORE OR AFTER BUCKY TELLS HER ABOUT THE WINTER SOLDIER. BUT I LIKE THE IDEA THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW SHE'S DOING IT. MAYBE SHE'S BEEN DOING IT SINCE HE MOVED IN, HENCE WHY HIS NIGHTMARES HAVE BEEN BETTER, HE JUST ASSUMES IT'S BECAUSE OF HER PRESENCE BUT SHE'S ACTUALLY USING HER POWERS ON HIM. 

Bucky rummages through the draws of the dresser in their bedroom, a concentrated frown on his face. He's looking for his gun cleaning kit. He tries to do it once a week to keep the gun in good condition, just in case he ever needs it, and whilst he cleans his, he cleans Sydney's too. And he knows he put it in here somewhere. But they've been living together for just under a month, and all their things have started merging together. His fingers touch leather and he assumes he's found it, until he picks it up, it's too thin, too small for it to be his kit. He pulls it out of the draw and then realises. Passport. Not his. His is hidden in his quick getaway bag under the bed. He glances behind him but he knows Sydney isn't in. He shouldn't but he's curious. Bucky opens the passport and smiles seeing Sydney's photo there. His eyes scan over the details. Sydney Campbell. Which he knows is her name. January 24, 1979.

"Birthday" he mumbles instantly thoughtful. "Tomorrow" She hasn't said anything about it being her birthday. Why hadn't she said anything to him? He hums a little and taps his fingers on the passport cover.

...............

Sydney hums as she puts away the groceries, Bucky takes a breath and approaches her, her passport held tightly in his hand. He's not mad at her or disappointed, he's just curious. She glances to him and smiles.

"Hey" She greets warmly. "I got you that pasta sauce you like" she holds up the jar and smiles at him before setting it away. Bucky pushes the passport closer to her, she glances to it and then to him.

"When were you going to tell me that it was your birthday tomorrow?" he asks her, she shrugs a little.

"We've only been together a little while, I don't know, I just..thought birthdays was a...further down the line thing, plus I haven't celebrated my birthday in years" she shrugs it off.

"Well I want to celebrate it with you" he argues, she looks to him surprised. "We've already celebrated Christmas, and the New Year, and...now I want....to celebrate your birthday"

"I don't..." She struggles and looks down with a sigh. "It's not that I don't appreciate the offer, I do, I really do, but I don't want to celebrate my birthday" he touches her arm and raises an eyebrow.

"You haven't celebrated it since you left your family" he realizes, she gives him a sad smile. "That's....what? 15 years? Syd..."

"Please" she begs of him. "Just...can you forget?" she asks him as she picks up her passport. "It's just another day" he lets out a breath and nods.

"Okay" he answers. She searches his eyes and then nods, appeased by his statement. But he's not about to let it go. He hasn't had a birthday in 70 years and he knows how much that upsets him, she's human, and she hasn't celebrated in 15 years. That's too long for her to go without someone that loves her to acknowledge her birthday. He's going to do something. Nothing too extravagant. Just a little something to show he cares and that he is here. He can do that for her. He grabs his jacket from the back of the dining chair, Sydney frowns at him.

"Where are you going?" she asks him.

"Out" he answers moving towards her.

"I'm just about to make lunch" she states, he kisses her as he pulls on his jacket.

"Save me some, I won't be long" he assures her when he pulls back and then leaves, Sydney stares after him and then sighs looking down at the passport.

.............

Sydney is lounging on the couch when Bucky returns, her lunch plate on the table in front of her, a half drunk mug of coffee. He kisses her head before he rounds the couch and joins her. Setting a box into her lap he turns to face her. She raises an eyebrow as her eyes find the box, her lips turning down with her frown.

"James" she scolds. "What is this? Is this a birthday present?"

"Ah, ah, ah" he stops her with a smirk. "Not your birthday until tomorrow" he reminds her. "So not a birthday present" he admits, she shoots him a look knowing that it still counts. Because it is too coincidental.

"James" she warns. "I told you I didn't want to....." she swallows and shakes her head.

"I know what you said" he scoots closer to her. "But I couldn't not do anything" he places his hand over the box. "It didn't feel right to just ignore it" he nods to the box and smiles reassuringly. Opening the box, Sydney finds a beautiful silver candle inside with a pink ribbon around. She lifts her eyes to Bucky and then back to the candle. She draws her thumb over the length of it before she lifts the candle out of the box to smell it. It's beautiful. Smells floral. Soft. Nothing overpowered. "You seem to prefer the softer floral scents" Bucky offers. "I thought you would like it" she opens her eyes and looks at him. "I know it's not...expensive jewellery or a world cruise or..." she crawls into his lap and kisses him.

"I don't need those things" she stops him. "I love the candle." she pulls back from him and looks down at the candle. "I'm sorry I got so defensive about my birthday" he shrugs and wraps an arm around her.

"I shouldn't have been snooping, and it's not like I was doing it on purpose" he kisses her arm. "I just found your passport when I was looking for my gun cleaning kit"

"I put it in your bedside draw" she points out. "Next to your gun" he makes a face and then nods.

"That makes more sense" she nods in agreement and smirks.

"Yeah, you think" he snorts and nuzzles into her cheek.

"You know" he starts. "I don't think most girlfriends would be okay with their boyfriends storing guns in their home" he points out.

"I think it would bother me more if I didn't have my own" she reminds him. "I know that need to have to defend, James, I understand why you have it....you're not some baggy pants wearing thug that has a piece to show off to his friends." he shakes his head. "And we're not in America, chances of us actually having to use are guns are significantly lower here then it would be if we were in the States, but it makes us feel better, safer, to have them, just in case" he nods in agreement.

"FYI" he whispers to her. "March 10th" he tells her, she frowns a little. "Now you know my birthday" she chuckles, he smiles softly. That's actually one of the only details he knows about his former life. When he left Hydra he only managed to grab a couple of pages of intel on himself. He knows it all back to front now. But it's not everything. It's not memories. Or feelings. Or connections. It's just facts. And whilst he is getting the other stuff back, he is forming new ones and remembering old ones, it's not the same. He wishes he had more. He wants his life back, his entire life. But for now, with Sydney, he has what he needs, he needs this woman. He needs her love and her affection because she is helping him more than she knows. Everyday he spends with her. Every week. Every month. He remembers more.