The Irrefutable Flame⎪✓

❨09❩

♀︎

"Oh no, Mr. Widoen, please don't worry about it," I reassure him with an easy smile on my face, his frantic eyes relax slightly by my words and that was the outcome I hoped for. No reason for him to be ashamed or feel like a hassle, "I'll have them delivered in the morning, does that sound good?"

He's standing in my shop, apologizing for not being able to carry all the carnations he wants to gift his wife. Apparently, she got extremely ill last night and he wants to comfort her with a whole bunch of flowers. He thinks he's bothering me because we'll have to deliver them, but I have an employee for these types of circumstances and I truly don't want him to feel bad. 

He shakes his head at me, looking much older than he did a couple of days ago. "I only want the best for my Sally. Hetdale is so fortunate to have someone like you here," His honest voice moves me, he's trying his best to cope and deal with the fact that his wife might not survive for much longer. It shatters my heart.

Smiling wistfully at him, "I'm lucky to have Hetdale, and trust me when I say it's not a problem, not even in the slightest. As you say yourself, Mrs. Widoen deserves the whole world."

"Oh, if only everyone had the same compassion as you, Dakota. The world would be a much better place."

"Thank you, sir," I thank him. "Now go home, spend some time with your precious wife, and say hello to her for me, please."

He salutes me, lifting his hat, "Sure thing, Ms. I'll see you."

Mr. Widoen leaves the shop with those parting words and my smile falls immediately. He asked me to make the bouquet for her funeral, apparently, she wants me to make them a mixture of carnations and poppy flowers. Their trust in me is unreal and I won't let them down, it'll be beautiful and extravagant, exactly like she wants it. 

Looking at the time I see that I have to close the shop soon enough, every time Mr. Widoen comes in here I always know it's about time to close it down. He stops by during his nightly walks. Seeing that every customer has left, I start counting the cash register, making sure I've been doing my math correctly during my hours here. 

Seeing the correct number of money there, I turn to shut off the sign and quickly water the plants, making sure everything looks amazing for opening on Monday. It's Friday today, so now I have the entire weekend for myself. It's honestly much needed, time to deal with the feelings that are swarming around in my body. 

Elijah left right after dinner two days ago, our talk was entirely platonic, even though he tried to hit on me a few times. After cooking his part of the dish, he hurried home to take a shower and finally wear a shirt, it became hard for me to keep my eyes away and the blush only grew during the hours at my house.

I can't just jump into his arms, but it's so ridiculously difficult to stay away from the temptation when I want him so bad. The thing is that I can't be with him right now, he would be a distraction, my shop and mental health need to be my only priorities right now. Flynn is a boyfriend I can deal with, he doesn't invade my every thought. 

If I'm being honest with myself, seeing Elijah in Hetdale again awoke something that I've been hiding for years. I've saved myself from the hurt that could easily come from a relationship.  Flynn would be boring enough to never hurt me and that's the kind of safety I need, even though that means giving up on passion and true love. 

My mind is completely swarmed by my thoughts, I don't hear the chime of the doorbell before a figure is standing right in front of me. I jump, a small squeal leaving my lips. Flynn grabs my arms, laughing at seeing me so frightened, "You okay there?"

Worming out of his hands I smile at him, "Sorry, yeah. Just completely zoned out."

He gives me a once over, "I saw the sign turn off and thought I'd come and say hi."

A silence settles after his words, only to be broken by me, "Hi then."

"Why are you ignoring me, Dakota?" He asks, confusion written all over his features, "I thought our date went great."

I cough by his bluntness, "Uhm... It did, yeah. I'm not ignoring you, I've just been very busy."

"Busy with what?" He digs.

"With... Life. I guess."

"That's not an excuse though," He states. "Can I take you home? We can talk on the way."

After a slight hesitation, I conclude that I owe him an explanation, it's not cool to ghost others after all. Nodding my head I quickly close the shop and follow him to his car, jumping in, the coldness of his leather seats makes me freeze for a second. I have no clue how to break it to him, I'm not even sure I want to break it to him. Maybe he is exactly what I need. I'm so confused.

Driving away from the shop, "So..." He begins.

"Stop being awkward, Flynn," I stress. "What's on your mind?"

He clutches the steering wheel tighter, "I want to see you more, there's some serious potential in a possible relationship here and if I gave you up, I'd be sorry for the rest of my life."

Oh.

Shit.

Very straightforward then.

"Uhm.." I foolishly say, desperately willing myself to find words. Any words would be better than nothing at all, "I don't really know what to answer to that."

"Give me a second chance, Dakota. That's all I'm asking."

My head is buzzing by the contrasting emotions and I try to focus on what I truly want, the problem is that I don't know what I want or need at the moment. Elijah is easy to be with, but fills my mind to the brim with thoughts. Flynn is hard to be around and boring at times, but he allows me to be myself without thoughts of him, as long as I act politely and appropriately all the time. I can't string him along, but he wants a second chance and I shouldn't write him off so easily. I'm not ignorant like that, being polite is my second nature and I'd hate losing it. 

"Dakota?" He asks again, my eyes meeting his pleading blue ones. "Please say yes."

He's a good guy, deep down. He wants the best for me and he cares enough to visit me and offer to drive me home, repeatedly. It isn't an uncomplicated decision, but his eyes make it clear that he wants to know my answer now. He stops the car in front of my house, making my head stress even more. 

Another date with Flynn, I don't know if I want to take him up on that offer. My thoughts are racing too quickly for me to reach them. Before I know what I'm answering, a smile falls on my lips, "You can come inside with me and grab a glass of wine then?"